Sunday, March 30, 2008

Sifted Like Wheat

A few words about the Living Proof Live conference in general, and then I want to share one of the main lessons I brought home in my heart.

First of all, before we even sat down in our seats, I was fighting back tears. To see an assembly of so many thousands of women (14,500 to be exact) who wanted to worship God and learn about Him was awesome. There aren't really good words to describe it. I can hardly imagine the glory of worshiping God in Heaven with people from every tribe, tongue and nation crying out "Holy, Holy, Holy is our God!" Whew! Talk about chill bumps!

Second, it is was plain old fun to get away with three other girlfriends and just be together. We talked and chatted and then talked some more. We also managed to make every single wrong turn possible in navigating around Jacksonville. All of us agreed that it was a good thing our husbands were not with us. They would have been terribly frustrated by our lack of navigational skills.

Third, you can count on getting a good message from Beth Moore. I knew that much was certain. But aside from the inspiration and meat of her message, she is just such a delight to hear speak. She is so funny and engaging and silly one minute, and then pounding you over the head with deep truth the next. She took off her shoes and was barefoot on stage during the last session. I can't think of any other speaker I know who could get away with that. And not only did she get away with it, in her own way it added to her appeal. You really do feel like you are her girlfriend. She is walking around her kitchen barefooted telling you about her life and what God has taught her; you are sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee (of course) and just soaking it all in.

The main scripture she spoke on at all three sessions was Philippians 3:7-14. One of my favorite passages of scripture. In fact, on Wednesday night, I told my husband that if there was one thing that motivated me to serve God, it was the idea expressed in Philippians 3:8-9.

"Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him,"

That kind of statement could only come from a person who has found fullness and freedom in the redemption of Christ Jesus. I'm probably going to do a separate post just about that verse, maybe several posts, but not today.

Today, I want to share a little bit of the pride and arrogance that got wiped off my face on Saturday morning. I am being very harsh on myself, I'll freely admit. But I think the caution that Beth gave us could very well have saved me from a whole heap of trouble. She said, (and of course you know this is a paraphrase, I wasn't secretly recording her) "be very careful about this idea that you love Jesus more than the people around you. Some of you are even convinced that you love Jesus more than your pastor. Certainly more than all the other Christians you know. Nothing will demand to be dealt with more than that kind of arrogance. That is such a problem that it will hinder all kinds of work for God. Humility must cover every aspect of your service to the Lord."

I felt like I had a bullseye painted on my forehead and she had just thrown a big fat dart into the audience, aiming straight for me. Well, the dart hit home, let me tell you.

I have to admit that there are times when I look around me and wonder what the matter is with all/most of the other Christians I know. Where is their passion? Where is their joy? Where is their freedom in Christ? Because I think I have a double portion of those things. But here is the catch. I have those things ONLY because God has dealt them to me. They are not a product of anything inside of me. I absolutely and without exception do NOT, do NOT, do NOT deserve any of it. Just trust me on that one. I don't have time to detail all of the reasons why.

In fact, I would venture so far as to say that if you knew me very well 5 years ago, and you knew me very well today, you would know 2 completely different people. And all of the change has been due to God's intervention in my life. NONE of it came about because I chased after God. He chased after me. I would have snorted in laughter if you had suggested to me 10 years ago that I would wake up every morning and hurry to get out of the shower because I was so excited to READ THE BIBLE! (But its true.)

So, Beth gave the example of Simon Peter, the disciple. Who, when Jesus foretold that all of the disciples would be made to stumble, replied, "Even if all are made to stumble because of You, I will never be made to stumble." Then Jesus told Peter that before the rooster crowed he would deny Him three times. And Peter replied, "Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!" (Matthew 26:33,35)

In other words, Peter thought he loved Jesus more than the other disciples. We all know what happened. Peter did deny Him three times. I have such a welling of compassion when I read in Luke 22:62, "So Peter went out and wept bitterly." I can hardly think of anything that would make me weep more bitterly myself.

This was the point that tied it all together. Beth pointed us to Luke 22:31.

"And the Lord said, "Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren."

The first "you" in that verse is plural, it applied to all of the disciples. But the second "you" is singular, it applied directly to Simon Peter. Jesus was saying that Satan had asked for permission to test all of the disciples. But Jesus had given specific permission for Peter to be tested. Why? Because Jesus could see directly into Peter's heart. He could see the arrogance that needed to be peeled away so that Peter could serve Him from a place of humility.

Serving God from a place of humility is vital! God will not share His glory with another. When you or I, or Peter, are trying to serve Him from a place of our own strength, our own ability, or our own pride, we are not giving God the glory that is due to Him. And sometimes God will allow us to be "sifted like wheat" to reveal to us how very dependent on Him and His strength we must always be.

I can tend to make statements to my close friends like, "I just wish everyone had the passion and freedom I have in Christ." Now, that can sound very exclusive, can't it? My good friends know when I say things like that, I understand fully how little I deserve any of it. They knew me before God "arrested" me. (Another great point Beth made which I am not going to elaborate on today.)

And there are even times when that passion and freedom in Christ make a crooked turn and become, "I have more passion for Christ than anyone I know, I understand the grace of God much better than other people, I am more driven to read the Bible than others, I must LOVE God more." Hmph. As if. This is where I should be falling on my face in humility. And I needed to be reminded of that. So thank you, Mrs. Moore. I heard you loud and clear.

And you know what else I realized this morning as I sat in church? No matter how I do or don't serve God, His love for me doesn't rise or fall because of it. God's love for me, and for His church, is constant. In John 21:15, Jesus says:

""Simon, son of Jonah, so you love me more than these?"

He said to Him, "Yes Lord; You know that I love you."

He said to him, "Feed My lambs.""

Jesus loved Simon Peter, and yes, Simon Peter loved Jesus. He would eventually be martyred on the cross because of his great love for Jesus. But Jesus' love was not just reserved for the one who would willingly sacrifice his life. Jesus loved His lambs, too. That is us, the church. We are Jesus' lambs. And Jesus extends mercy and love to the lambs as well as the martyrs. His love for them does not vary or correspond to the sacrifices they make for His sake.

Even if I do love God more than the person next to me in Sunday School, which I have no way of knowing anyway, God loves that lamb just as much as he loves me. I just needed to be reminded of that.

5 comments:

marie said...

Wow! Hadassah, what a great message - one that I VERY MUCH needed to hear. Yes, God has also convicted me of the SAME sin of pride in the way Peter displayed it in that passge (I didn't know that only the last "you" was plural, btw....interesting. I always thought its was specifically Peter that Satan was asking to sift).

Anyway, that attitude that I love Jesus more than anyone else is one that I carry, and it flourished when I was attending a lukewarm Congregationalist church a few years back. I was convinced (and still have to take these thoughts captive when they pop up, although I rarely succeed) that none of them had any passion or depth of relationship with God. Including the pastor. God has convicted me many times over this attitude, and I recognize it is a struggle. (Although I truly do love Him.)

The flip side of this pride-sin is how desperately I want to be "special" to God; that I want Christ's love and affection more than anything else on earth, yet I'm so keenly aware that I don't deserve it. Disbelief that He loves us personally is also a sin (or thinking He favors others - I just wrote an entry on how God responded to me on that), and I've heard it's another manifestation of pride. One I struggle with daily. Ouch.

It's amazing how similar we are!!

Okay. I'm going to take my prideful little butt upstairs and say prayers with the kids. Goodnight.

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

Powerful preaching...from Beth and from you! It sounds like the seed has been sown and that you will spend the next great while cultivating the fruit from your weekend. I know you were blessed, and I very much needed to hear everything you had to write. Thank you for taking the time to share.

peace for the journey~elaine

TeriAnnElizabeth said...

Thank you so much for sharing that!!!

I have heard Beth speak on pride and also about Satan asking to sift all of them like wheat, but Peter was the one that "got it" and returned a different, much humbler man.

I had not ever heard her say those words that she did to you all in Jax. That is so meant for me, I think you have to move to the side or duck your head and let it hit me next!

After reading all of your blog about that message...I seem to be in a similar place.

I am not the same woman I was even 2 years ago and it was nothing I did. Not one thing. HE came for me and HE got me, but it was a long, ugly running away for me before I was "arrested".

This entire message hits me so hard because I do "think I must love HIM more" and "understand HIS ways" better because of the grace that was given to me after all the sin I committed.

In my heart I KNOW I look at people in church and think "they really aren't taking this seriously..."like me". UGH!!!

I'm dealing with this issue right away. Thank you so much for letting GOD use you to open some eyes and hearts to this form of pride.

Love in HIM,
Teri

Kelli said...

Wonderful post. I enjoyed reading about this conference and vicariously, I felt the excitement.

We serve an amazing God who deson't want even one of us to be lost in our own understanding. I love that about Him.

Pamela (His maidservant) said...

So much of what you wrote felt as if it were my words. I commented a few post ago on this topic of Peter. What drew my attention from this passage was that when Jesus approached Peter after His ressurection, He didn't approach him with an "I told you you would fail me" type of response. Instead, He confirmed Peters heart belonged to Him and instead of looking back had him look to the future and what He needed from him-to "feed His sheep". That is what God calls us to do. Look beyond our sinful, shameful past and use it to bring others to Him.
I, like you, don't understand why some don't get what this love relationship is all about with Jesus. It's not one hour every Sunday. And though I love Him more than anything and cannot get enough of Him or His word, I feel like I still do not love Him enough. I, like you, have to keep this love in check-that it doesn't become prideful but remains nothing more than a longing to be more like Him and to live life fully for Him.
This post was such a blessing. Beth moore is my favorite. God's work through her broght me out of my "pit" and so I am so jealous I was not able to be there. It is always a life changing transforming event!!
Keep the passion!!
In his Graces~Pamela