Glory to God

I have to tell you something. I am no Bible scholar.

I love God's Word. And if I have any free time, I would rather get out my Bible and read it than sit and watch t.v. Now, that is a miracle in and of itself. And that is truly the work of the Holy Spirit. I am not nearly righteous enough to make my desires that pure!

I am confessing this now because I am horrified at the thought that I might lead anyone astray in anything. I am simply trying to share with you, whoever you are, what God has been teaching me. Also, I want to share the things that I am thinking about. But please don't consider me an authority. I am humbled and delighted at the same time by the few responses this blog has received. It is amazing that I can put my thoughts out there and God can use them. When I started this blog (all of about two weeks ago!) I never imagined that over a hundred people would have looked at my profile already!

So anyway, please come back and read my posts. I really really want you to. But if something I'm sharing doesn't seem right to you, seek out your pastor or God's Word to guide you. I hope God will use me through this blog. But really I am selfish and I am posting these things because I am dying to get them out! The two groups I am facilitating (Breaking Free by Beth Moore) are already getting too much of my "inspirations," so I am trying to get some of it out here. Otherwise I show up to Bible Study and I feel like I open my mouth and it all comes pouring out. Then our time is all up and I wonder if I should have let all of THEM talk more! LOL!

I started facilitating the Breaking Free groups because I had two friends that I knew would benefit tremendously by working through it. But of course, it is always ME that God needs to teach the most to. I hope that never stops!

The Terrifying Vacuum Cleaner

OK, the terrifying vacuum cleaner is an inside joke around here. My 3 1/2 year old is terrified of our vacuum cleaner. When she was younger I could only take it out of the closet when she was sleeping because she would immediately start wailing at the sight of it. As she has grown older, she can tolerate looking at it. But the instant I turn it on, she hightails it to her room and yells "Are you finished yet, mommy" the entire time I am cleaning the rugs. I keep trying to tell her that it only makes a scary noise but it can't possibly hurt her. Despite my many attempts to reason with and reassure her, she just won't believe me. Aren't we just like that? God keeps telling us to trust in Him, and not to be afraid. But we insist on running every time the "vacuum" comes our way.

I wrote an entry on the LPM blog that said God had delivered me from all of my fears. And that is true, but I got to thinking that it was a pretty big statement. So if you have found your way over here, allow me to elaborate a bit. I don't mean to sound trite about this, because I know that there are things in this life that can, and will, cause us a great deal of pain. Pain is not fear, and it is not a failure to trust or believe God. Just read Psalms. David had plenty of pain. He cried out to God in painful moments. I have too. It's part of what God used to tender my heart to other people's pain.

But I really don't have fear. Even when I allow my imagination to to run rampant and think of all the most horrible things that could happen to me, I don't fear them. I certainly don't wish for them. I hope they don't come to pass. But suppose they did? Would that mean that God is not who He says He is? No. Would that mean that God does not love me? No. Would that mean that God is not good, and sovereign, and holy, and magnificent, and compassionate, and merciful? No, no, no, no, no, no.

Here's the secret: it ain't about me. That is it. Get that and you don't have to live in fear. It's about God; His purposes, His glory, and His perfect plan.

I have been thinking about some of the fears that God has delivered me from. I'm sure that this list is not comprehensive. It's just the things I can think of right now.

1. I'm not really good enough
2. People might find out what I am really like
3. Nobody really likes me, even if they act like they do
4. My family will be disappointed in me
5. I won't ever be loved as much as I need to be loved
6. I'll go through my whole life and nobody will ever give me the credit I deserve for being so great. (Let me tell you, pride and selfishness have been big obstacles for me to overcome)
7. I will only be loved by a man if I am sexy or beautiful
8. I will never have enough money or "stuff"
9. I will never be truly happy

Do you see any common threads here? All of those fears revolve around me, me, me. Serving my own ego was extremely scary.

But God has changed my heart. He has poured His love and grace into me. He took away my heart of stone and replaced it with a heart of flesh. When I really began to understand that God, the holy God who created every particle in the universe and holds them together by His good will, loved me enough to overlook my offenses and even pay the price for my sins, I became free from fear. What is there left to be scared of? Sure, pain may come my way. But God will still love me. It is really that simple.

And as much as I am amused (and sometimes annoyed) when my child runs and hides from that scary old vacuum cleaner, it is a good reminder for me. I don't have to live in fear. I really can trust God when He tells me in His Word that He will never leave me or forsake me. I just wish I could get my little one to have as much faith in mommy!

Isaiah 43:1

"But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob,
And He who formed you, O Isreal:
Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name;
You are Mine."

Joshua 1:9

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."

Psalm 56:3-4

"Whenever I am afraid,
I will trust in You.
In God (I will praise His word),
In God I have put my trust;
I will not fear.
What can flesh do to me?"

For I Know

Job 19:25-27

"For I know that my Redeemer lives,
And He shall stand at last on the earth;
And after my skin is destroyed, this I know,
That in my flesh I shall see my God,
Whom I shall see for myself,
And my eyes shall behold, and not another.
How my heart yearns within me!"

Job is a pretty tough book, on a lot of levels. I spent several weeks reading through it this past summer, and even though I was dreading it a little bit, it was so rich. I was dreading it because we all know what happens to Job, and I tend to get emotionally caught up in the plight of the people recorded in the Bible. Plus, even though it is nowhere near as devastating as what happened to Job, I have been through some deep valleys, and it is not usually much fun to start reliving those things. But fortunately, that was not my experience in reading Job. Oh, there were plenty of times when my heart ached for Job's suffering. But my own suffering seemed ridiculous in comparison.

This verse expresses so beautifully the reason that I live with such joy. I really really do. I am not just saying that I live in victory because it is what a Christian is supposed to say. I have real, pure JOY. And it is because I know that my Redeemer lives, that in my flesh I shall see God. The thought of it is enough to break me into pieces because I can hardly stand the beauty and joy of it. I know that makes me a little strange. I get that. And I certainly don't wish to be a weirdo. But I wouldn't trade this joy for anything the world has to offer.

How my heart yearns within me! I yearn for God's perfect creation, the way it was meant to be. I yearn for a new heaven and a new earth. There are things in this present life that I love immensely. My babies and my husband, my friends and family members. But even those things would be better, more perfect and full of joy in heaven. How my heart yearns within me! And it is the knowledge of this eternity that makes today joyful. The hope of things to come.

Philippians 3:7-9

"But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith."

The Hornets of Sanctification

I am a big fan of Beth Moore. In fact, if you are reading this blog, chances are you found it because I posted a comment on her blog. She is the one who first inspired me to read the Old Testament and make personal applications from it. And boy have I! Ezra and Nehemiah are two of my favorite books of the Bible right now. I'll have to post my observations on them sometime. But for now, here is a great verse that means a lot to me.

Exodus 23:28-30, 31

"And I will send hornets before you, which shall drive out the Hivite, Canaanite, and the Hittite from before you. I will not drive them out from before you in one year, lest the land become desolate and the beasts of the field become too numerous for you. Little by little I will drive them out from before you, until you have increased and you inherit the land. For I will deliver the inhabitants of the land into you hand, and you shall drive them out before you."

Now you may be wondering where I am going with this, but I see this as a great illustration of the way sanctification works. God is so merciful to us in letting us work out our sanctification little by little. He knows we can't handle it all at one time. Just like the Israelites who wouldn't have been able to handle all of the desolate lands and wild beasts at once, we can't handle every area of sin in our life at once. I know I couldn't.

God has been so patient with me. He has given me the turmoil, disappointment and pain that I needed to see my heart as it really was. In His great mercy, He has let me pass through the waters. But in His faithfulness, He has not let the waters sweep over me.

And here in Exodus is a great picture of sanctification. He promises the victory to us. We are given everything He promises us. But we have to do the driving out of our enemies. Their destruction is sure, but they are going to hang around swatting at hornets until we get to work and send 'em packing.

Isaiah 43: 1-3

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior"

Philippians 1:6

"being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;"

2 Corinthians 3:18

"But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord."

Hit me with your best shot....

Fire away! That has been my prayer to God lately. Search me and know my heart, see if there is any unclean way in me and lead me in the way everlasting. I have been praying that God would show me any areas of my heart that I have not surrendered to Him. The reason I have been praying this is because I have been feeling pretty good about my total surrender to God. He certainly has worked a mighty work within me in the past year. But I don't want any corner passed over, I don't want any area to be ignored. And I know that unless God reveals those dark corners to me, I am totally blind to see them myself.

Well, this morning He answered my prayer. I can't pretend total ignorance to this particular corner of my heart. I have known about it for many, many years. And God has really been applying healing and grace in this area for a long time. But I have never wanted to talk about it or share it with anyone else. I have tried to figure out why I am so reticent to share it. Well, I got my answer this morning, in a big and mighty way: PRIDE.

God has graciously defeated so much pride in me already. But here it is, rearing its nasty little head again. I don't want to admit this thing to anyone! I want it to be a secret because I have a distorted view of it. If I admit it, then I am afraid I will be ashamed. But really, it is the hiding of it that causes shame. Not the revealing.

Even with this revelation, I am still holding on hard to my pride. Now that God has revealed it to me, I need to start praying that He will remove the boulder of pride from this corner. I know He will do it, but I have to participate. That is how sanctification works. So here goes. I will keep you updated as God and I progress together in removing this misplaced pride.

Proverbs 11:2 "When pride comes, then comes shame; But with the humble is wisdom"

I'm pretending...

...that I don't have a ton of other things to do right not. So this will have to be brief. I ran across one of my favorite passages of Scripture this morning.

Psalm 18: 37-42

"I have pursued my enemies and overtaken them;
Neither did I turn back again till they were destroyed.
I have wounded them,
So that they could not rise;
They have fallen under my feet.
For You have armed me with strength for the battle;
You have subdued under me those who rose up against me.
You have also given me the necks of my enemies,
So that I destroyed those who hated me.
They cried out, but there was none to save;
Even to the LORD, but He did not answer them.
Then I beat them as fine as dust before the wind;
I cast them out like dirt in the streets."

My enemies have come in many forms. A particularly potent enemy was my thought life. I was constantly recycling old sins in my mind, sometimes with guilty pleasure, but more often with accusations against myself, and loads of guilt. I really thought I might never be free from those thoughts.

But God armed me for the battle, and I destroyed those who hated me. I always picture demons pinging me with accusations and memories. Those demons hated me. And I got em good. They cried out their accusations against me to the LORD, but He did not answer them. Instead he gave ME victory, He gave me the oil of gladness, beauty instead of ashes and a robe of fine white linen. Then He rejoiced over me with singing, and quieted me with His love. Oh the mercy of our Father. And because He did these things for me, I was able to beat my enemies as fine as the dust before the wind, and cast them out like dirt in the streets.

I really have defeated those thoughts They are gone. If even a hint of them creeps in, it is like a very vague recollection that I can't seem to remember fully. The power they once had is destroyed.

Compassion

Like all of you, I hear about people who are going through really terrible things in their life. Sometimes it is really hard to think about those situations, they seem too terrible to even think about, much less live through. But of course, God's word is full of comfort (and hope) that applies to everything we struggle with here on earth, even the really really awful and terrible things. But even more than that, God tells us that he has a heart of compassion for our struggles.

Hebrews 4:15 "For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with out weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin."

I have always seen that verse from the perspective that Jesus was tempted but He never sinned. Well that is true, but I think that misses something that is even greater about this verse. Notice that Jesus can "sympathize with our weaknesses." That means that He has compassion on us. Not anger, or coldness toward our weaknesses, but real compassion. He doesn't have an attitude of condemnation, He is not out to "get us" for our sins. But in His great love He has compassion for whatever we are going through. Even the really awful, terribly terrible things. Even the weakness that we have struggled with for what seems like forever. Even the one we don't want to talk about. And yes, even the one that everyone knows about and is talking about (maybe behind our back, but hopefully not!)

One thing that God has been working on in my life is a heart of compassion, so lately I am predisposed to see God's compassion for us all over the place. But I think it is because it is really there. So, whether you need compassion in the form of comfort and mercy, or you need compassion because you are struggling with sin, remember that God has it for you. More than you could imagine, and plenty enough to cover your need for it.

And to close, here is one of my favorite verses of all time:

Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His pupose."

The coolness of prayer

Last spring, our church had a missions conference, and the main speaker was a man named Paul Kooistra. He is the head of the mission sending branch of our denomination, called Mission To the World. He is an amazing speaker, and our church had to book him, literally, several years in advance to get him to come speak. One of the sermons he preached was about prayer, and how often we Christians forget what an amazingly powerful thing it can be. Well, he really spoke to me that night and I want to share a little bit of what he spoke about. It had a profound impact on my prayer life. Maybe it will on yours too.

This was the verse that just hit me so hard:

James 5:17 "Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed earnestly that it would not rain; and it did not rain on the land for three years and six months. And he prayed again, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced it's fruit."

Now, several things about that verse are very noteworthy, but this was the thing I could not get over Elijah had "a nature like ours." That means he was just like us! He had doubts, he had fears, he probably wondered if God could really make a difference. In fact, it didn't rain for such a long time (3 and 1/2 years!!!) that he probably wondered whether God had anything to do with it at all! Aren't we all just like that? Something miraculous happens, and we don't see that it was God, we just see it as the way things worked out that day. I know I have been guilty of that.

When I heard the sermon on prayer, I had been spending a lot of time studying through the Old Testament. So although I had not been reading about Elijah in particular, I had become well aware that the people recorded in the Old Testament were not superheros. They really were just ordinary people that God chose to use in extraordinary ways. And most of them had some pretty big problems in their lives. They were far from perfect people. (By the way, why do we give our kids the impression that the people in the Bible were somehow perfect and abnormaly great? I'll save that for another time :))

So there it was, Elijah, who was just a person like me, kept rain from the land for 3 1/2 years by praying. Stop and think about that for a little while. My daughter is 3 1/2 years old. That really put it in perspective for me. Prayer can do amazing, unexplainable, miraculous, extraordinary things. And we have the power to access prayer anytime, anywere for any reason! I hope all of you realize that I am not trying to tell you that God will do whatever you want Him to just because you prayed about it. Certainly not! But you can ask, and God can do it. And sometimes He will do it, just because we asked Him.

And Elijah's story gets even better. Picture this with me. Here is Elijah who has prayed every day for 3 and a half years that it would not rain. And it hasn't. Now all of a sudden he needs it to rain. Big time. I don't know about you, but I think I would be tempted to think that it might not rain again, ever. And I certainly would have issues of doubt about whether I could call down the rain anytime I needed just by praying. But that is EXACTLY what happened. No rain for three and a half years because Elijah prayed. Then, Elijah prayed one day, and it poured, the "heaven gave rain". Wow! How cool is that!

I was so encouraged by this. It inspired me to pray for really big things. And because this is already too long, I won't tell you my great story about an impossible thing that God did for me because I prayed about it. I will save that for another time when I just can't help myself. But let me tell you, it was really cool too.

Phillipians 4:1 "Therefore my beloved and longed for brethren, my joy and my crown, so stand fast in the Lord, beloved."

How Sweet the Sound

Well, I tried twice to delete this blog because I really have too much to do to pay any attention to it. Plus my husband is annoyed that I have started a blog. That is because he started one last week and he hates to be copied. But since I couldn't get this blog to delete, I figured I might as well add to it. I'm not going to send this link to anyone I know right now so I don't think it is in much danger of being read!

I just love the lyrics to this hymn. Read it and let it sink in. Really, really sink in. I can hardly get through it without crying (or at least trying really hard not to cry). If you have seen your heart the way that I have been allowed to see mine, and you know that the heart you now have is made alive and whole only because of God and his grace, you won't be able to get through it without some tears either.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now am found
Was blind but now I see

Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

When we've been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun
We've no less days to sings God's praise
Than when we first begun

Bathsheba's What?

Bathsheba's Children. What in the world is that about? It might sound strange, but Bathsheba's children represent a profound picture of God's grace and redemption. It's an idea that I haven't been able to shake for the past six months or so. I did a Beth Moore Bible Study last Spring (that would be 2007) called "A Heart Like His" that was just excellent. It explores the the biblical account of King David, his youthful heroism, his flight from King Saul, his rise to power, his eventual disgrace in sin, his repentance and restoration with God and the various problems that his family faced as a result of his egregious sin. Well, if you remember your Sunday School lessons, you will remember that it was Bathsheba who participated in the adulterous relationship with King David that set in motion a chain of very regrettable events. A child was conceived, a cover up attempted, and before it was all over, Bathsheba's husband was murdered along with many of his fellow soldiers. And that just scratches the surface of what went wrong.

Bathsheba eventually had two children (that we know of) with King David. Their conception and the impact of their lives were drastically different. I think they offer a beautiful illustration of God's grace to scandalous sinners, like me, and like you. Bathsheba's first child was conceived in sin, secrecy and disgrace. That could have been the end of the story. But it wasn't. Bathsheba had another child, Jedidiah, also known as Solomon. Who was he? Only the greatest King ever to rule ancient Israel. Why did God choose to reward Bathsheba with such a son? Because God is better and more gracious than we can begin to imagine, that's why. And I'd like to explore that concept in-depth.