Heart of Stone

I have been so anxious to get to my computer all day and get this post up. But it has been one thing after another all morning. So here I am, taking a deep breath, and here we go...

Ezekiel 36:26-27

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them."

Jeremiah 24:7

"Then I will give them a heart to know Me, that I am the LORD, and they shall be my people and I will be their God, for they shall return to me with their whole heart."

If you have been reading this blog, you may have perceived that I can be pretty emotional. Well, that has not always been the case. I feel like I really did have a heart of stone for most of my life. It has only been in the past 4 years that I have learned how to really feel things deeply. I like to say that God has been working on giving me a heart of compassion. But really, compassion is just a part of the whole spectrum of emotions God has placed into my heart.

The process of removing my stone heart and replacing it with one of flesh has been pretty painful for me. But I can see very clearly that if I had not been made to go through some painful experiences I would not have accepted the heart that God had in store for me.

My heart of stone was bound up in such a way that I felt very little emotion at all. That was a very safe way to live my life. I didn't let myself get hurt by very much, and I certainly did not plug into the pain of those around me. But because God loved me enough to pour his grace and overwhelming love into my heart, I am a changed person. I feel thing very deeply. In fact, I like to joke that maybe God has given me a little too much compassion. I find tears welling up in my eyes amazingly often when I am having conversations with other women. Sometimes it really hurts to feel so strongly. I suffer when those I love suffer. I even suffer when I hear about people I barely know suffering.

BUT, the most awesome side effect of all this emotion is the way that scripture has become ALIVE when I read it. I no longer can read the account of Hagar and Ishmael without weeping. Abraham's emotional turmoil as he is preparing to sacrifice Isaac is almost more than I can bear. And today, when I read the account in Matthew about Jesus being betrayed by Judas and then being abandoned by his disciples, I could barely see through my tears to read the words on the page. Jesus loves me that much! And I accuse God of not caring! Woe to my foolish human nature. How I wish I could see things as God does.

And then, I will read something in Psalms, and I will want to explode with joy. The love that I now understand makes me want to jump up and touch the clouds above! Sometimes I'm pretty sure that I could reach them, too! That is how real my joy is.

I was thinking about a hymn that I love last night on the way home from the evening Bible study.

"O for a thousand tongues to sing my great Redeemer's praise!
The glories of my God and King, the triumphs of His grace."

That caught my sentiment exactly. My one little tongue is inadequate to sing the praises of God that flow through my heart. I would need at least a thousand of them to do it justice.

Back to the suffering for a moment. Even that drives me to God for relief. When I see or experience suffering it makes me long for eternity. I know I have expressed that in several posts. I don't know how else to deal with the horrible circumstances that I hear about sometimes. The truth is that man is not created to handle such pain. We were created to glorify God and enjoy eternal fellowship with Him. And because this world is under the curse of sin, it won't happen to us in this earthly existence. But thank the LORD that He loved us enough to create another way to it.

Aside from the personal nature of my new heart, I think that I have begun to see more of what God's heart for us must be like. He looks on our suffering with compassion. He loves us with love so strong that He died on the cross for us. A cold, stony heart cannot begin to comprehend those powerful emotions. But a new heart, one made of flesh, can begin to.