Seek My Face

Psalm 27:4

"One thing I have desired of the LORD,
That will I seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the LORD
All the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the LORD,
And to inquire in his temple."

Psalm 27:7-10

"Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice!
Have mercy also upon me, and answer me.
When you said, "Seek My face,"
My heart said to You, "Your face, LORD, I will seek."
Do not hide Your face from me;
Do not turn Your servant away in anger;
You have been my help;
Do not leave me nor forsake me,
O God of my salvation.
When my father and my mother forsake me,
Then the LORD will take care of me."

This Psalm means so much to me right now, as in this exact moment that I am typing this on my computer. My spirit is feeling so troubled, and has been for about 2 weeks now. There are plenty of reasons for it, I could just take my pick and make this post about any of them, really. But one thing has been weighing on my heart tonight, and I feel like this Psalms addresses it perfectly.

About a year ago, it was as if God did command me to seek His face. I don't mean that He appeared to me or communicated to me in some mysterious or supernatural way. He just grabbed my attention, completely and consumingly. He fueled a desire in my heart to seek Him with passion. And I did. Just like in the Psalm. My heart said, "Your face, LORD, I will seek." And the result of that seeking of God's face has been abundant blessing. I have written in other posts about how I feel like God has poured the Spirit out onto me. I was unprepared for how profound it would be. I feel like a different person, an alien, a strange duck, set apart, lifted above, all those things. And it is awesome. It is amazingly awesome. I don't ever want to lose it or go back to being just another pew sitting, powerless church-goer.

And I know that God will be faithful to me. I know He has not poured Himself out on me just to abandon me and leave me. But I feel like I am about to be tossed to some wolves. I really do feel like I am about to be uprooted and tossed out into the wastelands.

Here's why: we are changing churches. I don't want to. My husband does. And there is no way that we can go to different churches. And he is the one who gets to decide this issue. I'm not open to debate about that. He just is.

He doesn't really want to change churches either. But he has gotten to the point where he doesn't see any other way to deal with the situation. I'm not going to give you the details. That is not what this post is about.

But I have no confidence in the church we are going to start attending. We went there as newlyweds, and I was spiritually starved.

That is why the words in Psalm 27 are so powerful. "Do not hide Your face from me." "Do not leave me nor forsake me, O God of my salvation."


"Do not leave me nor forsake me,
O God of my salvation.
When my father and my mother forsake me,
Then the LORD will take care of me."

O LORD! Take care of me. I don't want to be forsaken.