Big Britches

I have been thinking about my tendency to get "too big for my britches." It's kind of a funny thing, because I work so hard at staying humble and restraining my natural feelings of pride and self-righteousness. I'm not a total failure at doing it, but it appears that for me at least, this is a life long struggle.

Lately I have been thinking about Peter, and his triple denial of Christ. It strikes me that Peter and I might have a few things in common. I'm obviously not the rock upon which Christ has built the church, but personality-wise, me and Peter might be formed alike.

He had a tendency to get too big for his britches too. To put it in gentler terms, he sometimes made grandiose claims in the heat of the moment that he couldn't follow through with later on.

In Luke 22:33, Peter said to Jesus, "Lord, I am ready to go with You, both to prison and to death."

Less than 24 hours later, Peter did just the opposite.

Luke 22: 55-60

"Now when they had kindled a fire in the midst of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat among them. And a certain servant girl, seeing him as he sat by the fire, looked intently at him and said, "This man was also with Him."

But he denied Him, saying, "Woman, I do not know Him."

And after a little while another saw him and said, "You also are of them."

But Peter said, "Man, I am not!"

Then after about an hour had passed, another confidently affirmed, saying, "Surely this fellow also was with Him, for he is a Galilean."

But Peter said, "Man, I do not know what you are saying!"

The thing is, I have no doubt that when Peter claimed that he would follow Jesus to prison or death, he absolutely meant it. He wasn't saying something that he didn't believe in his heart at that moment. I've done the same thing.

"Lord, I will always be this passionate for Your glory!"

"Lord, I will always seek Your face before anything else in the world!"

"Lord, I will never be distracted from loving and serving You above all else!"

But of course, when life takes an unexpected or disappointing turn, the reality becomes much less glamorous than my momentary exuberance could possibly have expected. And like Peter, I fail to do what I so earnestly claimed I would.

You see, Peter got quite a shock when Jesus was hauled off by that band of thugs in the Garden of Gethsemane. Peter, and all of the disciples, had the wrong idea about Jesus's kingdom and His victory. They were still expecting a great military hero who would overthrow the earthly enemies of Israel and reestablish her as a mighty, victorious nation. Despite the fact that Jesus told the disciples many times that he was going to suffer and die, they just didn't get it.

So when Jesus was in the custody of the high priest, you can imagine that Peter's expectations of going to prison and death with Jesus were turning out a little differently than he thought they would. Maybe Peter thought that he would die in a glorious civil uprising, fighting alongside his Master. Or that they would be thrown into prison together and somehow defy the odds and still emerge as the victors.

But little did Peter imagine, in all of the scenarios he could conjure up, that Jesus was going to blindfolded and beaten, mocked, scorned and spit upon, by the very men Peter imagined that Jesus was going to defeat.

And in the disappointment of this reality, Peter failed. He denied the very One whom he had so passionately claimed he would never deny.

But, you see, there is more to the story than just Peter's failure. Jesus knew ahead of time that Peter was making claims that he wasn't going to fulfill. He saw ahead to Peter's denial of him, and He even told Peter that it was going to happen.

Luke 22:34

"Then He said, I tell you, Peter, the rooster shall not crow this day before you will deny three times that you know me."

And even more than foreseeing the event, Jesus comforted Peter before the denial had even taken place.

Luke 22:31

"And the Lord said, "Simon, Simon! Indeed Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren." (emphasis mine)

Look at what Jesus says. He has prayed for Peter, and when, not if, but when Peter returns to Him, He will be equipped to strengthen his brethren.

Do you suppose that a man of big-britches claims is very encouraging to a struggling, distraught brethren? I don't tend to think so. I can only imagine that if I were always in a state of big-britches boasting, I wouldn't be very encouraging to my fellow brethren at all. It would be hard to relate to a sister in Christ who is experiencing the real disappointments and pain of life, if I always lived in the place of sheer happiness in the Lord.

You should know, I don't. I go through peaks and valleys in my walk with God. Once, I spent over a year on the mountain top. It was the best year of my life. But I'm afraid that all that high-mountain living brought our some pretty big britches claims from me. I kind of thought that I would always be 'high.' That it was the natural result of my faithfulness and dedication in seeking God.

But in reality, life threw a disappointment at me. Things didn't go as I imagined they would. Like Peter, my expectations of fighting for the Lord turned out differently than I thought. And before long, I ended up in a valley, in a place of denying the very claims I had so boldly made.

God knew I was going to do that. When I was making my big claims, He already knew I was going to fail. But that's OK. He knew I needed some humbling, some ability to relate, some equipping in order to strengthen my brethren. It was for my own good, and hopefully for the good of those around me as well.

I really want to get back to that place of 'highness' with God. There really is nothing better in all of life. If you have ever been there you know what I am talking about. Nothing, nothing, nothing even begins to compare to the delight of that 'place.'

But perhaps I will cherish it all the more next time, knowing that it is a gift not meant to be permanently sustained in this life.

Even Paul, who was temporarily caught up into the ecstasy of Heaven, was given a thorn in his flesh immediately afterward. Maybe a person who is very naturally humble can handle the headiness of God's fullness without getting too big for his or her britches. But I am not that person.

For me, I suspect it must come and go.

It has been 'going' lately. But I am not discouraged. Because I know that Jesus is praying for me, just as He does for all the saints, and the Holy Spirit is making intercessions for me that I cannot even comprehend to ask for myself, since I don't know how to pray as I ought.

And because of those things, my faith will not fail.

Against You, You Only, Have I Sinned

I've been in a weird place the last few weeks. You can see that my blog posts have been less than frequent lately. And I can't seem to get anything significant done on the Ruth study I am working on. I had a big breakthrough in that area a few weeks ago, and it was thrilling: I finished the first speaking session and discussion outline. But since then, nothing. I literally feel a deep resistance to working on it any further. I keep writing outlines in my head, and thinking of scripture that would be good to bring into the discussion, but I can't make myself sit down and write anything.

Last night I prayed for some clarity, and I think I got some this morning. I read Psalm 51, David's prayer of repentance after he was confronted by the prophet Nathan over his affair with Bathsheba. I was struck by David's astounding statement in Psalm 51:4,

"Against You, You only, have I sinned,
And done this evil in your sight--"

How is it possible that David can qualify his sin as being only against God? Um, what about poor Uriah? Or Bathsheba for that matter? Or David's many other wives whom he dishonored by committing adultery with Bathsheba? How about the entire nation of Israel? Didn't they get cheated by a king who acted so deceitfully and treacherously?

Yet despite all of that, it is God (only!) who David says he sinned against. Have you ever really thought about that and its implications? We think about sinning against other people all the time; gossiping or lying or cheating or stealing from someone. Or even just treating people disrespectfully or without love. Aren't all of those things sins? Aren't they sins against our neighbor? I've always assumed that they were. But the longer I think about it, the more convinced I am that David's words in Psalm 51:4 are more profound than I originally gave them credit for.

God is the one to whom we owe obedience. Every time we sin against our fellow man, we are ultimately sinning against the commands of a holy and righteous God. Our neighbor may get caught in the crossfire of our sinful actions. But come judgement day, it is not our sinned-against-neighbor who will sit in jugement of our actions. It is God. And all of our sin will be counted as offenses against His holiness and His commands.

Which brings me back around to the spiritual slump I find myself in. I've tried to think of all the reasons that I find myself in this situation. I could lay the blame on any number of things, and believe me, I've tried. But this morning, as I was reading Psalm 51, I saw something very clearly. If there is anything to blame for this thickness I am struggling to cut through, it is my sin, specifically, my sin against God.

I can't blame it on this, that or the other. I have to look straight inside at my own heart. It is a disheartening prospect (slight pun slightly intended.) I've been on the spiritual high. I've been to the peak. I've been dedicated and motivated and everything you associate with a woman who is "on fire" for God. But I don't think any of us get to stay there forever. We have, and will always have, too much natural sin remaining in us in this present flesh. There is no final escape from it until we leave this life for the better life that comes next.

Not to say that I won't get back to the peak. In fact, I'm determined to push past my natural inclinations and get back up there again. But it's hard. I have to fight myself in the process.

I don't want to stand out as strange. I don't want people to think of me as bizarre. I don't want women to walk the other way when they see me coming, because I might want to talk about something spiritual. I don't want to be constantly vigilant against pride or anger or idols or apathy creeping up on me. I'd rather just float through life, enjoying the luxurious and self-absorbed modern American lifestyle, and worry about eternity, well, right before I get there. Those are the things that I want.

Thank goodness its not all up to me. Thank goodness that God has sent me a Helper, the Holy Spirit, who lives in me and constantly transforms me from glory unto glory.

But the path to the peak has a crucial first step that you can't hop over if you ever want to get up there. Its the all-important step of repentance. And if I want to get past stalled and start moving forward again, I need to get on my face and repent.

Against You, You only, have I sinned, O God. Against you have I withheld my heart, my mind, my soul and my strength. Forgive me.

Psalm 51:1,2,12

"Have mercy upon me, O God,
According to Your lovingkindness;
According to the multitude of your tender mercies,
Blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
And cleanse me from my sin."

"Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,
And uphold me by Your generous Spirit."

Psalm 145:4

Talk about getting a full dose from one Psalm. Psalm 145 is packed so full of good stuff that my mind was jumping from one line to the next and just trying to keep up this morning! I want to unpack a single verse of the Psalm that really got my attention.

Psalm 145:4

"One generation shall praise Your works to another,
And shall declare Your mighty acts."

If you have kids, and you are a Christian, I'm willing to bet that you have read at least one Christian parenting book. There are lots of good ones out there. Some better than others. And maybe this idea that I'm about to explore has already been written about extensively and I have just managed to miss it somehow. I'll admit that my husband is the avid reader in this household. I'm an obsessive reader, which means that I am practically unable to put down a book once I have started it. This causes all sorts of problems, so I save my reading for blocks of time when I can really indulge. If you have preschoolers like I do, you know that those blocks of time are few and faaaaar between. Anyhoo...

I'll be blunt. One of God's mighty acts has been redeeming me from the pit of destruction. If you are a Christian, you should be able to say the same thing. Now, we've all been pulled out of slightly different looking pits, but the bottom line is that all of our pits involved the biggest sin of all--loving self more than loving God. (Matthew 22:37)

On top of that most egregious sin, we have each managed to heap up all sorts of muck, mire and slime that God had to pull us out of. (Psalm 40:2) For some of us, the muck is harder to see outwardly, but you can bet it has manifested itself in our hearts. For others, well, they may never get to the point where their public sins are completely forgotten by those around them.

But, whether our sins are in our heart or in our actions, we have this cultural pressure to hide them away and never speak of them again. Why is that? I know that there must be a healthy balance between declaring the mighty acts of God versus pulling out our filth for the whole world to gawk at. And specifically, I wonder if we should be more open and honest with our children.

Psalm 145:4 is specifically talking about generations. One generation praising God's work to the next generation. Naturally that includes all of the famous mighty works, the stories in the Bible. But there are mighty works that are personal to our families--the change that God has brought about in each of us because of His great power to change, restore, redeem and recreate. And that makes me wonder if our cultural tendency to present ourselves as untarnished pillars of righteousness (particularly to our children) is perhaps misplaced?

I'm not talking about glorifying our sin. And I certainly realize that every disclosure and interaction with our children MUST be age appropriate. But isn't there a way to declare the mighty acts of God in our lives to our children without stepping over that line?

I don't know the whole answer here. My kids are still little ones. Some of you have raised up children that have gone on to start their own family. What do you think?

**If you don't have kids, this concept can still apply to you in the way you interact with fellow believers and the world at large.

And the Peace of God....

Philippians 4:6-7

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present you requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I said that verse at least 217 times to myself on Friday. It began to rain, very heavily, for a many hours on end. And the weather radar showed only more heavy rain headed straight for my area. To understand why this distressed me, you must realize that my house is only a few feet away from a small creek.

Well, it is only small when the weather is normal. When we get a lot of rain, all bets are off. By Friday night, I had white water rapids about 10 feet from where I sit and post all of these entries to my blog.

At several points during the evening, I seriously asked God what the difference was between being anxious and having a healthy dose of panic when confronted with a potentially dangerous situation. Because the only way I felt anything like the "peace that transcends all understanding" was when I remembered that everything in my home, all that I have, all my stuff, all my treasures--were just things. And they didn't really matter all that much. Even if my whole house was swept away by a flood, God would take care of me.

But I'll be honest, I was having a hard time reminding myself that all my "things" didn't really matter when my husband's car was about to be swamped by the river that had once been my driveway. Sigh. I just want all of you to know that I am not perfect. I am a normal person just like you. I am susceptible to the normal ups and downs of any relationship, including my relationship to God. That does not mean I am defeated in anything, it just means I have to work harder sometimes to get the desired result.

One of my worst nightmares is for someone to read this blog, or even just know me as a person, and credit my happiness and joy to having some kind of perfect life. Believe me, I don't. But I have grace, and I have Christ, and they are much better than a perfect life (or in this particular example, perfectly unruffled trust.)




This is normally my driveway. Don't miss those plastic buckets and tubs floating away. You can't get a sense of it from this picture, but the water was flowing very quickly through here. It was also just starting to rain heavily again, as you can see by the raindrops.

The back garage, which my husband uses as a woodworking shop, underwater. And that small vegetable garden you see on the left, with the plastic tarp behind it, is usually about a foot above the ground.

I know this picture is kind of dim, but this is my backyard, completely level with the creek that runs next to our house. Yes, that is whitewater you see in the middle of the picture, right between my camellias.




See my nice outdoor furniture cushions floating toward the back of this pond/backyard? And don't miss the garden hose floating through the center of the picture.



Before my husband came home and opened up this back gate, clearing away a bunch of debris, the hinge at the top was bent by the pressure of the water trying to push through.


Oh, we are all fine and dried out by the way. Thanks for asking! And despite the ominous predictions of the weather radar, it did stop raining before my actual house was flooded. Whew! Believe me, we were praying really hard.

Broken In the Pit

Psalm 88:6-9

"You have laid me in the lowest pit,
In darkness, in the depths.
Your wrath lies heavy upon me,
And you have afflicted me with all your waves.
You have put away my acquaintances from me;
You have made me an abomination to them;
I am shut up, and I cannot get out;
My eye wastes away because of affliction."

There is a reason this passage in in the Bible. God knows about brokenness, He understands our despair and disappointment and anger. He knows what it feels like to be betrayed, even by those closest to Him, whom He loved and lived in close fellowship with.

In Isaiah 53, Jesus is described as "A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief." He is also called "despised and rejected by men." Why does this matter? And why am I writing about it today? Well, I have a friend of a friend who is going through a terrible time. Her entire life is crumbling before her eyes. People and things that she thought she could rely on have failed her, brutally and personally.

If I am not describing you and your situation right now, well, good, but I think all of us can use some reminding about these things from time to time. Whether we realize it or not, we are surrounded by hurting people. We see smiles every day of our lives that conceal pain and rage and despair. We are all so good at putting on a mask of ease and contentment, but the truth is that many of us are right in the kind of pit described in Psalm 88. The lowest pit, a pit of darkness, depths, and affliction.

And there is nothing in all of the world that can help besides God. People will always fail us. Science and technology, and counselors and friends--will all come up short in the end. Because they do not have any real power to comfort, no real power to heal and remake what is broken. They may provide some brief form of relief, but nothing lasting, nothing true. Only God has the power to heal us, to make us a new creation, to satisfy and deliver us from the pit.

I want you to read these scripture verses, and really dwell on them. They provide THE hope and THE cure. Nothing else will do it. Only God.

Isaiah 54:6-7

"For the LORD has called you
Like a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit,
Like a youthful wife when you were refused,"
Says your God.
"For a mere moment I have forsaken you,
But with great mercies I will gather you."

Its hard to imagine a more brutal rejection than the rejection of a husband. Just the thought of it makes me gasp inside with horror. But it happens, it happens all of the time. It has happened to so many women that I know. But even if a husband has rejected you, God can gather you back up again, and only He can do it with great mercies.

Isaiah 55:1-2

"Ho, Everyone who thirst,
Come to the waters;
And you who have no money,
Come, buy and eat.
Yes, come buy wine and milk
Without money and without price.

Why do you spend your money for what is not bread,
And your wages for what does not satisfy?
Listen carefully to me, and eat what is good
And let your soul delight itself in abundance."

These verses are so powerful. Did you see what they say? Stop wasting yourself and your energies on what does not provide life and satisfaction. We are all guilty of this sometimes--we chase after stale crusts of bread and brackish water. And we chase after them with all of our "money" and all of our "wages," everything that we think we have. But why? When God wants to fill us with rich things, good things, wine and milk, and all for free, for nothing.

Listen to how God's children are described:

Psalm 36:8-9

"They are abundantly satisfied with the fullness of Your house,
And You give them drink from the river of your pleasures.
For with you is the fountain of life;
In Your light we see light."

Abundant satisfaction, drink from a river of pleasures, life, light, all of these are in store for those who put their trust in the LORD.

So what does all of this have to do with being broken and in a pit? Well, for many people, the pit is where they first begin to search for God. This has largely been the case in my own life. Until I found myself in desperation, I did not think I really needed God all that much. I had managed to run my own life in a somewhat satisfying manner. But life has a way of turning out differently than we expect, of throwing a shock or a surprise at us that we don't welcome. And it often involves a great deal of personal pain. I don't want to minimize pain, I've had enough of it in this life to understand how powerful and crippling pain (or even the possibility of pain) can be. But in the midst of it, in the very worst of it, God cupped my chin in His magnificent hands and gently wiped every tear away. Not because I deserved it, but because He loved me.

He reminded my heart of the promise in Isaiah 43:

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,
Nor shall the flame scorch you."

He doesn't promise to make the pain go away. Sometimes He might, but that is not what He promises. Instead He promises to be faithful to us, to never leave us, to never forsake us, to be with us always, to love us unconditionally.

Isaiah 54:10

"For the mountains shall depart
And the hills be removed,
But My kindness shall not depart from you,
Nor shall my covenant of peace be removed,
Says the LORD, who has mercy on you."

Every single thing in this life may fail or disappoint you, even the mountains and the hills are not trustworthy compared to God and His promises. He promises us kindness and peace. Don't miss that last line of the verse: the LORD who has mercy on you. I prefer the NIV translation: the LORD who has compassion for you. Compassion, real compassion, that comes from a man of sorrows, one who is acquainted with grief, one who has felt despised and rejected. That is a Man who can understand, that is a Man you can trust and hold on to.

Don't chase after things that aren't bread. Don't spend your money on things that can't satisfy. Eat what is good-let your soul delight in the richest of fare. Let the LORD gather you up with tender mercies, hold on to Him in the midst of the storm, call out to Him from the bottom of the pit.

I want to show you one more thing, one more passage of scripture, and then I'm going to end this post. I know its a really long one. But I hope it helps someone, someone who needs to hear these things at this exact moment.

If you are the one who is in the pit, the pit that I described at the top of the post, listen to this:

Psalm 40: 1-3

"I waited patiently for the LORD;
And He inclined to me,
And heard my cry.
He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,
Out of the miry clay
And set my feet upon a rock,
And established my steps,
He has put a new song in my mouth--
Praise to our God;
Many will see it and fear,
And will trust in the LORD."

Don't stay in the pit. Cry out to God. He will lift you up and set you on firm ground. In fact, He is the only one who can. What better choice do you have?

Boy, Have I Been There!

Deuteronomy 29:19

"and so it may not happen, when he hears the words of this curse, that he blesses himself in his heart, saying, "I shall have peace, even though I follow the dictates of my heart"--as though the drunkard could be included with the sober."

The last part of that verse is translated several different ways, depending on which translation you have, but it is the first part of that verse that strikes home with me.

This verses catches perfectly the way I lived most of my youth and young adult life. Hiding inside the community of God's covenant people, but saying in my heart, I shall have peace, even though I follow the dictates of my heart.

How arrogant and foolish!

Don't miss that this foolish person blesses himself. I can relate! I blessed myself every day of my life, with every thought, every action, every motivation, and every outward obedience. It was all about me blessing myself in my own heart. I think that is a great description of a Pharisee. A person who blesses himself in his heart, all the while following the dictates of his own heart, not the commands of the LORD.

And lest we forget, Jeremiah 17:9 reminds us of what we need to know about our own hearts, apart from the imputed righteousness of Christ.

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?"

If you go and read the Deuteronomy verse in it's context, it becomes even more powerful. Moses has just finished recounting to the Israelites the blessings of obedience, and the curses of disobedience. The section that covers the curses of disobedience is not for the fainthearted. It's pretty hard core stuff. (Maybe if you have never read if for yourself, this will sufficiently peak your curiosity enough to send you to your Bible! I highly recommend it!)

I keep trying to do a quick reading of the Old Testament, because I have never read through the whole thing before. My problem is that I keep finding things that are so interesting, I have to stop and think and look up all the cross references. At this rate it is going to take me years to get through the Bible cover to cover! Oh well, at least it will be time and effort well spent. I can't begin to tell you all of the amazing things I have discovered for myself. Only a fraction of it ends up on this blog. I'm only sorry that I didn't start this process sooner!

Just One Me

I got a new purse today.

Don't worry, I promise I am going somewhere good with this, just give me a little while to explain. I found a great purse online last week, and it was marked more than half off! Unable to resist such a good deal, I ordered it and have been anxiously awaiting its arrival. It came today at lunch time. I quickly opened the box, removed all of the packaging material and admired my beautiful new purse, all the while congratulating myself on what a steal it was.

Then I saw something sitting in my cubby that got me thinking. My cubby, by the way, is that spot where all of my purses, diaper bags, folders, and kid's backpacks end up when I come into the house. I'm sure you have one too. Unless you are much better organized than I am. In which case, just pretend with me a moment.

Sitting underneath all of the things accumulated in my cubby was a beautiful black leather purse that I have only used one time. Here's the thing; that beautiful black leather purse is a Chanel knockoff that I bought while I was on vacation in NYC this summer. And I hate it. I am too ashamed to carry it. I don't even know why I got it to begin with. I have never in my life wanted a Chanel purse. Even if I could easily afford to buy one, I don't think I would enjoy spending that much money on a bag. I know myself too well. In a few months, I would be tired of it and want something new, no matter how much I had paid for it.

I was excited about it the day I purchased it. But that didn't last very long. On the plane ride home, I saw a group of high-school aged girls all carrying huge "Chanel" purses. It struck me as very vulgar. Then I got home and read an article online about how knockoffs were stealing the intellectual property of someone. Then I "remembered" that knockoffs are in fact illegal and they probably support some underground businesses that I would want nothing to do with. So, suffice it to say, I did not find that "something-for-nothing" deal from Chinatown quite so attractive anymore.

And then it got worse. Suppose someone actually thought it was real. Did I really want anyone to think that I cared about designer labels and status symbols so much that I would spend thousands of dollars on a bag? Um, no.

Don't get me wrong. There is absolutely nothing wrong with buying nice things if you can afford them. And there is nothing wrong with having a lot of money. There are plenty of people in the Bible that God blessed with great material wealth: Abraham, Job and Solomon were all very wealthy men.

But I knew that the purse was a fake. And it made me feel cheap and fake to carry it. So I had to decide which was worse; wasting the purse by not carrying it at all, or carrying it and feeling guilty about it. Great choices.

And it illustrated a point that is very relevant to me right now, and I hope is either relevant to you or will be at some point. I have spent a lot of my life pretending to be someone that I am not. I grew up in the church. For much of my life there were two of me, the churchy me and the real me. The churchy me was the persona that I presented to the world when it suited my purposes. The real me was the person that I really was in my heart. She was not a pretty picture. She was full of things like rebellion, jealousy, bitterness, anger, guilt, shame and hatred. But despite being full of these things, she looked pretty good to most of the world. Upon very close inspection, she would not have fooled a person who knew what the real thing looked like. Much like a fake name-brand purse.

But God loved me too much to let me continue my life as a fake. He knew that when He got to work on my angry rebellious heart, He could transform it. And He has. I can say with conviction that the person I now present to the world is the real me, because there is just one me. That is part of the beauty of being filled by God and His mighty grace. I now have the freedom to be who I really am. It is so much more fun to rest in His approval and love, than to try and dash after those things by pleasing the people around me.

So I am going to carry around the real purse that I bought on sale with great satisfaction and pride. And as it would happen, I found a darling college student who works in the nursery at church who said she would love to have the fake Chanel. Hopefully she doesn't have the baggage that I have to go along with it. Pun intended.

Matthew 23:27-28

"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men's bones and all uncleanness. Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness."

Psalm 86: 11-13

"Teach me you way, O LORD;
I will walk in Your Truth;
Unite my heart to fear your name.
I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart,
And I will glorify Your name forevermore.
For great is your mercy towards me,
And You have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol."

Psalm 130: 3-8

"If You, Lord, should mark my iniquities,
O Lord, who could stand?
But there is forgiveness with You
That You may be feared.

I will wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
And in His word I do hope.
My soul waits for the Lord
More than those who watch for the morning--
Yes, more than those who watch for the morning.

O Israel, hope in the LORD;
For with the LORD there is mercy,
And with Him is abundant redemption.
And he shall redeem Israel
From all his iniquities."

Amen.