If Christ Is Not Risen

1Corinthians 15:17

"And if Christ is not risen, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins!"

I once spent several hours listening to a woman speak at a church conference. Mostly, she was sharing her testimony, which, I'll grant, was quite dramatic. But her testimony is not what I remember when I think back on that experience.

Instead, it was the claim which she repeatedly made, that Jesus "works."

She made a big point of saying that people don't really care all that much if Jesus is true. Nowadays, people are more interested in whether or not Jesus, and Christianity, will work.

I suppose I could agree with her in many ways. Jesus does in fact work in things that are most important. He works in regard to cleansing us from our sin. He works in regard to reconciling us to God. He works in regard to redeeming our lives from the pit of destruction.

And hey, I'll even agree that there are many comforts and benefits that result from being a Christian. We experience sanctification, we are able to fellowship within a local body of Christ, we are given opportunities to serve God, study about God and strive to become more like Him. There is even that whole "peace of God which transcends all understanding" and "the joy of the LORD" thing.

But does our entire Christian faith, our hope of eternity, rest on the fact that Jesus works? Whatever that even means?

No.

Jesus is not some form of cosmic self help. He doesn't promise that you will have square finances, a solid marriage, and a happy, easy, stress-free life. In fact, the Bible makes a lot of claims about the trouble that will come into the lives of believers.

John 16:33

"...in this world you will have tribulation..."

James 1:2

"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,"

2 Timothy 3:12

"Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution."

And more importantly, if Jesus matters only because He works then we are all in a heap of trouble. Because, you see, if Jesus isn't true, then we are all still dead in our sins, we are all still separated from God, and we will all suffer eternal damnation in hell upon our unavoidable death.

That is why I put that verse from 1 Corinthians up at the top of this post. If Christ is not risen, than this Christianity business is a big ol' waste of our time. It doesn't matter if Jesus "works" if Jesus is not first of all true.

Meditation and deep breathing might help you if you suffer from stress. Reading some books about financial management might help if you are tempted to spend more money than you earn. Getting a divorce might make you feel better if you just can't get along with your spouse. The world is chock full of advice about how to make your life "work" the way you think it should. And to be quite honest, sometimes the techniques that the world trumpets seem to be a whole lot more effective than obeying God, at least in the short term.

Let me give you a general example. Right now I am being obedient to God in a situation that is making me very unhappy. I mean specifically, that it is the obeying that is causing me great unhappiness, not the situation itself. I would much rather be disobedient and get some relief from the strain, stress and frustration I feel. But I am obeying a direct command of God that is found in the Bible. There is no wiggle room or way to 'reinterpret' this particular command so that I can feel good about disobeying. The command is clear. And in my obedience, I am, quite frankly, miserable. I don't have any sense of peace about it--at all.

I do trust God. I believe that He is working out something for my benefit and His glory in the midst of my situation. (See Romans 8:28.) But in the right here and now, I'd be hard pressed to say that Jesus is "working" for me.

But I would be willing to stake my life on the claim that Jesus is true.

If Jesus matters because He works, then why isn't he working for me when I am clearly obeying Him?

Do you see what a potential disaster could be brewing if I decided to become a Christian, because I wanted something to "work" for me?

Let me put it to you the way Paul does in one of his letters to the Corinthians.

1 Corinthians 15:19

"If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men the most pitiable."

1Corinthians 15:32

"If the dead do not rise, "Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die!"

In other words, if there is no resurrection from the dead, then don't waste your time obeying a bunch of rules and living a life of sacrifice. Go out and do what you want! Eat! Drink! Enjoy yourself! If this is all you have, you might as well make the most of it. It would be a great pity if you denied yourself the pleasures available in this world, and then your beliefs all turned out to be a big deception.

But Jesus did rise again from the dead. And because Christ has risen, all of us will also rise. Some will rise to glory and some will rise to condemnation. But it will happen. Not because Jesus makes me feel good, or Jesus made me a better person, or Jesus saved my marriage. Not even because Jesus works. But because Jesus is true.

Submission of the Gut Wrenching Variety

And just so you know, I'm not talking about husbands and wives in this post. Although I could, cause, boy, is that fertile ground for the topic of submission. But, nope, I'm going to be talking about Jesus.

There are times when we read Scripture and it is just kind of, well...a thing to get through. I have those mornings just like the rest of you.

And then, there are those days when you see something in the text that makes the hair on your arms stand up and your gut suck in a deep breath. I had one of those moments a few days ago.

Most of you are probably familiar with the story of Jesus being arrested by the mob of thugs in the Garden of Gethsemane. It's a Bible story that we church-grown folks grew up hearing. Maybe we even heard it so often that we got kind of casual and flippant about it. Sometimes reading it afresh divulges a gem that is so astounding we can't believe we've MISSED IT all these years!

Let me set the stage a little bit for you and then see if I can wrangle the same WOW out of you that I experienced.


Jesus was a perfect man. He was also fully a man. However, unlike any of us, He was also fully God. The theological term for this seeming contradiction is hypostatic union. And as God in the flesh, Jesus had at His disposal all of the power of God. As a man, who walked around on the earth and felt human needs like hunger and fatigue, He was also the same God who created the heavens and the earth by speaking words. Now, I should be able to stop typing at this point and just leave you with that thought. Because, honestly, if that doesn't make you go, "Whoa," then you haven't thought about it long enough, or deep enough.

But there is more. Jesus, as God, also had at His disposal command and control of the angels. Far from the chubby babies with feathery wings of our popular culture, angels are actually pretty fearsome things. Think of the angel that swept through Egypt and killed all of those first born sons before Pharaoh agreed to let the Israelites go. And that was just the work of one lonely angel. Imagine the power that Jesus had at His command as a man who could call down the power of all the angels in heaven at his whim.

NOW, imagine Jesus as He is praying in the Garden, just hours and moments before He knows He will die a humiliating, painful and horrible death on the cross.

He doesn't really want to go through with it. Now, bear with me here. Jesus is always in perfect, sinless submission to God the Father. But as a human being living in flesh, Jesus the Son had some real anxiety about what was going to happen to Him.

Matthew 26:39

"He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, "O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will but as You will."

Jesus says, I will do your will. But, Father, if it is possible, let there be another way. But there isn't. Jesus must die. There must be atonement for the sins of His children. It has to happen this way.

And so, despite the natural resistance of His human nature, Christ willingly submits to the will of the Father. I say willingly, because nobody ever forced Jesus to do it. He willingly submitted to all of the horrors of the cross and all of the horrors of broken fellowship with the Father as He endured the holy wrath of a holy God in order to redeem OUR lives from the pit of destruction.

As the multitude carrying swords and clubs laid hands on Jesus and arrested Him, Peter couldn't contain himself. You can imagine that they were roughing Jesus up in the process of arresting him. And in reaction, Peter drew his sword and struck off the ear of the servant of the high preist.

It is what Jesus said next that is so astounding.

Matthew 26:52-54

"But Jesus said to him, "Put your sword in its place, for all who take the sword will perish by the sword. Or do you think that I cannot now pray to My Father, and He will provide me with more than twelve legions of angels? How then can the Scriptures be fulfilled, that it must happen thus." (emphasis mine)

Did you catch that? The Father will provide angels. Not He might, or He may, or its possible that He will take that into consideration. He will do it. If I ask, He will. If I ask, this whole plan will not be fulfilled, it will not happen.

But Jesus didn't ask. He died on the cross.

And that, girls, is submission of the gut wrenching variety. Wow. Is there anything else to say?

Hebrews 12:2

"looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

Lying Hearts

You have all heard the stories. Or maybe you know some people that it has happened to personally. Dedicated Christians, servants of the LORD, caught in horrible, shocking and devastating sin. I got one of those phone calls this week. I sat down and cried, and tried my best to encourage my sister in Christ on the other end of the line. But what can you say in such situations except, "I am so sorry. I love you and will pray for you?"

You don't need to know the details. I'm guessing that most of you have heard a similar tale and can fill in the details of your choice. We all know that Christians are still sinners, but for some reason it is harder to process when a fellow believer falls into blatant, public sin. It just hurts in a different way.

And in this particular situation, there was some serious self-deception happening. When the Bible gives a clear command, and a person chooses to believe that something contrary must be what God would want them to do, you can bet there is a whole lot of self deceiving going on.

The scary thing is that we are ALL capable of self-deception. Even those of us that know the truth and are indwelt by the Holy Spirit. Our hearts really are that wicked, and our natural desires really are that corrupt. That is why, again and again, we MUST study God's Word. We must constantly go back to the living and active Word of God and drown our sinful man in its purifying waters. There is no substitute for constant exposure to God's Holy, revealed Scripture.

If we wander around, oblivious to what the Bible actually says, relying on our inner sense of right and wrong to guide us, we will get it wrong almost every time. Consider Jeremiah 17:9, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?" Or better yet, Proverbs 14:12, "There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death."

How about this:

"She said WHAT about me??? Well, let me tell you something about her..."

Matthew 5:44

"But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you."

Or this:

"Well, I know I shouldn't tell you this, but you won't repeat it, right?"

Proverbs 16:28

"A perverse man sows strife, and a whisperer seperates the best of friends."

Or even this:

"I'm not going to let myself get taken advantage of like that!"

Matthew 5:39

"But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also."

You get the idea. Our natural inclinations are often at odds with the commands of God.

I just needed to get this one out of my system. Read your Bibles, girls. Otherwise you may find yourself subject to the deceitful whims of a lying heart. And that much I do understand.

Against You, You Only, Have I Sinned

I've been in a weird place the last few weeks. You can see that my blog posts have been less than frequent lately. And I can't seem to get anything significant done on the Ruth study I am working on. I had a big breakthrough in that area a few weeks ago, and it was thrilling: I finished the first speaking session and discussion outline. But since then, nothing. I literally feel a deep resistance to working on it any further. I keep writing outlines in my head, and thinking of scripture that would be good to bring into the discussion, but I can't make myself sit down and write anything.

Last night I prayed for some clarity, and I think I got some this morning. I read Psalm 51, David's prayer of repentance after he was confronted by the prophet Nathan over his affair with Bathsheba. I was struck by David's astounding statement in Psalm 51:4,

"Against You, You only, have I sinned,
And done this evil in your sight--"

How is it possible that David can qualify his sin as being only against God? Um, what about poor Uriah? Or Bathsheba for that matter? Or David's many other wives whom he dishonored by committing adultery with Bathsheba? How about the entire nation of Israel? Didn't they get cheated by a king who acted so deceitfully and treacherously?

Yet despite all of that, it is God (only!) who David says he sinned against. Have you ever really thought about that and its implications? We think about sinning against other people all the time; gossiping or lying or cheating or stealing from someone. Or even just treating people disrespectfully or without love. Aren't all of those things sins? Aren't they sins against our neighbor? I've always assumed that they were. But the longer I think about it, the more convinced I am that David's words in Psalm 51:4 are more profound than I originally gave them credit for.

God is the one to whom we owe obedience. Every time we sin against our fellow man, we are ultimately sinning against the commands of a holy and righteous God. Our neighbor may get caught in the crossfire of our sinful actions. But come judgement day, it is not our sinned-against-neighbor who will sit in jugement of our actions. It is God. And all of our sin will be counted as offenses against His holiness and His commands.

Which brings me back around to the spiritual slump I find myself in. I've tried to think of all the reasons that I find myself in this situation. I could lay the blame on any number of things, and believe me, I've tried. But this morning, as I was reading Psalm 51, I saw something very clearly. If there is anything to blame for this thickness I am struggling to cut through, it is my sin, specifically, my sin against God.

I can't blame it on this, that or the other. I have to look straight inside at my own heart. It is a disheartening prospect (slight pun slightly intended.) I've been on the spiritual high. I've been to the peak. I've been dedicated and motivated and everything you associate with a woman who is "on fire" for God. But I don't think any of us get to stay there forever. We have, and will always have, too much natural sin remaining in us in this present flesh. There is no final escape from it until we leave this life for the better life that comes next.

Not to say that I won't get back to the peak. In fact, I'm determined to push past my natural inclinations and get back up there again. But it's hard. I have to fight myself in the process.

I don't want to stand out as strange. I don't want people to think of me as bizarre. I don't want women to walk the other way when they see me coming, because I might want to talk about something spiritual. I don't want to be constantly vigilant against pride or anger or idols or apathy creeping up on me. I'd rather just float through life, enjoying the luxurious and self-absorbed modern American lifestyle, and worry about eternity, well, right before I get there. Those are the things that I want.

Thank goodness its not all up to me. Thank goodness that God has sent me a Helper, the Holy Spirit, who lives in me and constantly transforms me from glory unto glory.

But the path to the peak has a crucial first step that you can't hop over if you ever want to get up there. Its the all-important step of repentance. And if I want to get past stalled and start moving forward again, I need to get on my face and repent.

Against You, You only, have I sinned, O God. Against you have I withheld my heart, my mind, my soul and my strength. Forgive me.

Psalm 51:1,2,12

"Have mercy upon me, O God,
According to Your lovingkindness;
According to the multitude of your tender mercies,
Blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
And cleanse me from my sin."

"Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,
And uphold me by Your generous Spirit."

Justified by Faith

Galatians 5:13

"For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another."


Some years ago, my husband and I participated in a couples Bible study on the book of Galatians. I believe it was a series based on the work of Tim Keller. Anyway, I have this verse (the one above) underlined in my Bible, and in the margin, I wrote the words, "we are free to not be centered on ourselves."

As I looked at my note in the margin last night, I thought, "Huh? What does that mean?" I bet you have done the same thing, wondering what thought process caused you to write a word or a phrase in your Bible. Or maybe it's just me?

Anyway, it got me thinking. What does it actually mean to be "free to not be centered on ourselves" and what does that have to do with "through love serve one another." I think I've reconnected the dots, so to speak, and you might enjoy following along the mental journey I engaged in to complete the picture.

It all has to do with the concept of faith as it relates to our justification. Now, justification is just a fancy word that means being declared righteous before God. We are all born as sinners before God. (Psalm 51:5) And in order to receive salvation, we must be declared righteous before God, or in other words, we must be justified. According to Galatians 2:16, "a man is not justified by the works of the law but by faith in Jesus Christ...that we might be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the law; for by the works of the law no flesh shall be justified."

This is a huge concept. What Paul is saying is that there are no rules or laws which we can keep in order for God to see us as righteous. The only way that we will ever be declared righteous before God is through faith in Jesus Christ. I could spend my entire life doing wonderful, charitable deeds; and come Judgment Day, God would still spit me out of His mouth if I did not have the one thing required to be justified: faith in Christ Jesus.

This is such a freeing truth that its importance can not be minimized. So many people, Christians included, have this notion that we are pleasing to God, and receive our salvation (or keep it) based on the things that we do or don't do. Paul is adamantly denying any such thing.

Now, you will never hear me say that keeping God's law doesn't matter. It matters a great deal. But it doesn't have anything to do with earning salvation. The importance of keeping God's law is a topic for another day. Suffice it to say that the law is still vital.

So, keeping that in mind, how should one react to this amazing concept of justification through faith? If we don't bear the burden of earning our salvation, than what are we to do?

Well, according to Galatians 5:13, we should, "through love serve one another." Allow me to illustrate what I mean by describing two different understandings of justification.

First, imagine that you believe it is up to you to make yourself righteous before God. You have a sense that if you are just "good" enough, then in the end you will make it to Heaven. Or perhaps you think that you have salvation, but it is up to you to keep it by obeying certain laws and rules. First of all, where is humility in either of those scenarios? But, more importantly, if you believe that you are earning or working towards something, than what do you suppose would motivate you to serve others? Would you be serving out of love? Probably not. When you get to the heart of the matter, you would probably be serving others, or doing "good" things, out of your own self-interest. (If I do xyz, then God will find me righteous.)


Contrast that with a person who knows that she is already declared righteous before God. This person knows that nothing can ever separate her from the love of Christ. She is therefore, free from the burden of working out her own salvation, and liberated to serve others out of genuine love, rather than self-interest.

In others words, as my Bible note declares, she would be, "free to not be centered on (herself)."

And the key to all of this working the way it should, is understanding that we are justified, or declared righteous, before God by our faith. Nothing else. Period. End of story.

Galatians 5:1

"Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage."

Wrestling With God

Genesis 32:24-31

"Then Jacob was left alone; and a Man wrestled with him until the breaking of day. Now when He saw that He did not prevail against him, He touched the socket of his hip; and the socket of Jacob's hip was out of joint as He wrestled with him. And He said, "Let Me go, for the day breaks."

But he said, "I will not let You go unless You bless me!"

So He said to him, "What is your name?" He said, "Jacob."

And He said, "Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel; for you have struggled with God and with men, and have prevailed."

Then Jacob asked, saying, "Tell me Your name, I pray."

And He said, "Why is it that you ask about My name?" And He blessed him there.

So Jacob called the name of the place Peniel: "For I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved." Just as he crossed over Penuel the sun rose on him, and he limped on his hip."

Have you ever wondered about this part of Jacob's story? I know that I spent several years being aware of it, but not really understanding its significance, or even what it really meant. I used to chalk it up as one of those strange Old Testament stories that just seemed plain confusing.

I don't feel that way anymore, but I only saw the meaning of this encounter between Jacob and the Angel after I went through something similar in my spiritual life. Don't get me wrong. I never have seen an angel, and I don't expect to in this lifetime. And that naturally precludes my wrestling with an angel in the flesh. But I have wrestled with God. In fact, I spent most of my young life and early adulthood doing exactly that.

You see, I have had the privilege of being raised in a Christian home. In fact, my parents were Christian missionaries in a foreign country for most of my childhood. And when we did return to America, I was brought up in a wonderful, Biblically solid church.

Jacob, likewise, was brought up by parents, who, however flawed, believed in and worshiped the one true God, Jehovah. Yet for all of his life up until this wrestling match with the Angel, Jacob was a striver and a schemer who relied on his own cunning and trickery to get ahead. His very name, Jacob, means trickster. And his name proved to be an accurate appraisal of Jacob's character. We see it in his dealings with his father Isaac and his brother Esau, and again in his dealings with his father-in-law, Laban.

Then here, in this climatic episode, Jacob and God have it out. They literally wrestle together in full body-to-body contact. Interestingly, it is God that initiates this struggle. And it is not an easy match, Jacob does not willingly concede to his opponent. In fact, Jacob struggles so hard and for such a long period of time, that the Angel reaches out and touches (strikes) the hip of Jacob, putting it out of joint.

If Jacob had any doubt that he was wrestling with God, at this point you would have to assume he realizes that this is no ordinary man he is fighting with. So does he give up the fight, realizing that his opponent is God? Nope. We read that "the socket of Jacob's hip was out of joint as He wrestled with him."

I hate to admit, but I can relate to that. I've had a few experiences that, in retrospect, I would characterize as God "touching" my hip. In other words, things have happened to me that should have caused me to submit. I should have given up and given in to the Lord. But, in my stubborn resistance and pride, I didn't. I stupidly kept up the struggle: "I want to be in charge, I want to have my way, I want to be right, I don't want to submit to anyone, even God."

So the wrestling continues, until the Angel brings it to a close by announcing, "Let Me go, for the day breaks."

It is at this point that a change occurs in Jacob. All of his life up to this point, he has relied on himself, his smarts, his cunning, his trickery and strength to get what he wants and needs. Now, after wrestling with God, and continuing to wrestle even after he has been disabled, he finally submits, and pleads, "I will not let You go unless You bless me!"

It might seem like a simple statement at first, but loaded into it is the implication that Jacob recognizes and admits that the Angel (God) is the one with the power to bless, and that Jacob's power lies in seeking God's blessing. It is a paradigm shift, as our popular culture likes to say. The rules have changed. Jacob has admitted he cannot prevail, He has recognized God's ability to bless, and he has pleaded with God to give him blessing. In prayer and supplication his strength now lies, and that is exactly where our power lies as well.

Then, what I think is the best part of the story takes place. The Angel asks Jacob his name. Now clearly God is perfectly aware of what Jacob's name is. I always assume that when God asks a person to speak something out loud that God obviously already knows, it must be for the benefit of the speaker, and not for the benefit of God. I think that is the case here. Jacob admits, out loud, that he is Jacob, the trickster, the striver.

The Angel answers, "Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel; for you have struggled with God and with men, and have prevailed." God has changed who Jacob is! The name Israel is translated "Prince with God" or, alternately, "One who has power with God." Jacob is no longer the trickster, he has been remade as the prince. Interestingly, throughout the rest of his life, Jacob is referred to sometimes as Jacob, and sometimes as Israel. I think, that just like us, Jacob continued to struggle with his "old" nature even after this experience.

God doesn't typically go around changing our names nowadays. However, God does indeed change who we are. He changes our character. Each of us is allowed to change from being a self-reliant creature to one who has "power with God." But an important aspect of this "power" is submission.

I spent so many years of my life giving lip-service to God. It was only after I fully submitted, gave up the wrestling match, and recognized God as the one with power and authority that I started to experience Christianity in a life changing way. Don't suppose for one moment that I think I have done anything special by "giving up." God was practicing condescension when He engaged Jacob in a wrestling match. God could have just reached down from His throne and struck Jacob dead. But in His infinite mercy, He allowed a struggle for dominion to take place. I don't think there was ever any doubt that God would prevail. But I suppose that Jacob's human nature needed to fight it out before he surrendered. I know that I needed to, and I think most of us are similar in that regard. But we can't ever forget that God is merciful in even allowing us the struggle.

Finally, there are two more details about this story that I love. After the wrestling, after the submission and the change in character, Jacob sets about to go on his way. In verse 31 we read, "Just as he crossed over Penuel, the sun rose on him, and he limped on his hip." Notice that the night is over, day, light, power, have broken forth over Jacob. There are so many references to God as light in the Bible that I think the symbolism in this verse screams out for recognition. Jacob has come to the light, he has submitted to God as Adonai, Lord and Master. But don't overlook the fact that Jacob is now limping.

Jacob, the formerly self-reliant one, has a critical injury that he will carry with him for the rest of his life. It brings to mind this verse from 2 Corinthians,

2 Corinthians 12:9

"And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness."

Jacob's newfound weakness is exactly why God's strength will be made perfect. That is the way God wants it. When we are weak, His power is evident. When we are broken and humble, God's grace is fully sufficient for us. Some of us just have to wrestle it out with God before we get to the point of weakness and submission. But, in the end, that is where our power lies. It's one of the great mysteries of the Christian faith--strength in weakness.

Feed My Sheep

I came across some verses in Ezekiel a few days ago that have been running through my mind ever since.

Ezekiel 33:31-32

"So they come to you as people do, they sit before you as My people, and they hear your words, but they do not do them; for with their mouth they show much love, but their hearts pursue their own gain. Indeed you are to them as a very lovely song of one who has a pleasant voice and can play well on an instrument; for they hear your words, but they do not do them."

The "you" in these verses is Ezekiel himself, and God is addressing Ezekiel directly. God is condemning the Israelites (they are in captivity in Babylon) who come and listen to Ezekiel, and at times even seek him out, as a source of entertainment and amusement. The people seem to be paying attention, and a few verses earlier, we are told that they make Ezekiel and his prophesies a subject of frequent conversation. But after they have been entertained by him, they go their way and do their own thing. They are unaffected by the message he shares with them. And this is a message that comes straight from God, bear in mind.

I will admit, if I had lived as a contemporary of Ezekiel, I would probably have been pretty entertained by him too. God made Ezekiel do some pretty strange things, as a way of "acting out" the judgments and prophecies that were given through him. I'm sure his friends and neighbors thought he was a bit "off." That is, until everything he revealed to them came true.

But back to our verses. When I first read them, I thought, "Ooh, good post material here. It looks like things haven't changed much in all these thousands of years! People still go to church to be entertained by "a very lovely song of one who has a pleasant voice and can play well on an instrument."" And I'm not even talking about church service music, I'm talking about the message from the pulpit. There are plenty of modern day church attenders who go to church, listen to the nice sermon, walk out the door, and completely revert to a self-motivated lifestyle.

And I stayed in that train of thought for a couple of days. I even started thinking though the great points I would make in my post. And then, of course, I was convicted of a recurring problem I have.

I can be kind of self-righteous. If you know me, you might be surprised by this confession. I TRY not to be self-righteous in my interactions with other people. And I've come a long way in this area. I am convicted of self-righteous thinking pretty quickly nowadays. Sometimes, immediately. But still, it keeps popping that nasty little head up in my thought patterns.

After thinking about our "entertained" churchgoers for a day or two, I looked at the verses again, and a new thought occurred to me. God specifically calls these Ezekiel-listeners, "My people." Ouch. Do I really think that I am supposed to be self-righteously comparing myself to God's people? No. And then, I remembered who it was they were gathering to listen to: Ezekiel, God's chosen mouthpiece, His chosen watchman, His chosen prophet. The people weren't gathering to listen to some nice sounding, empty messaged smooth talker. This man was the real thing, a man of God, speaking God-breathed truth.

I realized that I was making an unfair comparison. Sure, you can find plenty of churches today that have sweet sounding preachers who have very little gospel truth in their sermons. And I betcha they've got a big audience showing up every Sunday to be filled with a bunch of nice sounding emptiness. But, as I have realized again and again, there are also wonderful, Bible teaching churches out there who are filled with genuine Christians, and some of them are simply immature. They believe God, they attend church, they live a "clean" lifestyle, but their hearts are unaffected by God's Word to the point of real change. I used to be one of them.

And believe me, when that attitude changed in me, it wasn't because of anything I did. God shook me so hard that I had to stop and pay attention to Him. I didn't have a choice. Well, I suppose that technically I did, but in reality, the shaking was so severe that it would have been almost impossible for me to ignore Him.

After the shaking, which was no fun at all by the way, major change took place in my heart, and thus in my life.

Now I want to share something with you that is kind of personal. There are some verses in John 21 that the Holy Spirit will often quicken in my heart. In fact, these verses are the main tool that God uses to convict me of self-righteousness when it pops up. And I call this personal, because this is the personal application that I have taken from them.

In John 21:15-17, Jesus asks Peter three times if he loves Him. And every time Jesus asks, Peter answers with a yes. And all three times, Jesus says in essence "Feed My sheep." In other words, if what you say is true, if you really do love me, then you must feed My sheep as a result of that love.

I can't tell you how many times my heart has had this "conversation" with God. It goes something like this: Hadassah sees error in other people, Hadassah starts to feel self-righteous, the Holy Spirit hammers Hadassah's heart with the question: do you love Me?, Hadassah says, yes, or course You know I love You!, the Holy Spirit hammers Hadassah with the command: feed My sheep.

Self-righteousness is of no nutritional value to God's sheep. They will starve to death if that is all I have to feed them. And, hey, I don't think that I am Peter or anything like that. But I have an overwhelming urge to take people by the hand and lead them where God has led me. And I believe that God has given me this desire to feed His sheep. By the way, implicit in this motivation is the requirement to feed myself, a fellow sheep, from God's Word.

John 21:17

"He said to him a third time, "Simon, son of Jonah, do you love me?" Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, "Do you love me?"

And he said to Him, "Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You."

Jesus said to him, "Feed my sheep."

The Big Deal

I haven't been ignoring this blog all week. I've just been sick. Still am. It's terribly annoying. I've hardly been able to string two thoughts together, which makes articulating a meaningful post rather difficult. So this is going to be brief.

I've been reading through Isaiah, Jeremiah, Lamentations and now I'm in Ezekiel. All four books deal primarily with Israel's great sin and coming destruction. But do you know what their big sin was? It is mentioned time and time again, so much so that you could easily start to skip over it when you read. You know, like you skip over the stuff you already know, in an effort to get to the interesting part of an article? Well, this great sin might not be what you think. There was plenty of sin being committed by Israel. The rich were oppressing the poor. Innocent people were being slain unjustly. Child sacrifice had become common. Foreign alliances were the norm. The Sabbath was being ignored. The list goes on and on. But the sin that God blames over and over for the judgment that He would no longer withhold was this: God's people were worshiping other gods.

And that was the greatest offense of all. More vile than sexual promiscuity, murder, child sacrifice or any kind of ritual impurity. God was getting cheated of His due. He deserved all of the glory and honor and worship from His chosen people. And they were throwing it away on images made of stone and wood. And that, dear reader, is why He brought down massive judgment on them.

I wanted to point it out because I think that we tend to focus too much on the things we "do" that are wrong: stealing, lying, cheating, gossiping, bad attitudes, sexual sins. But you can refrain from every single one of those and be committing sin every day of your life, simply by worshiping things other than God. Or to put it in common language, to place anything in your life above God.

I'm betting that you don't have a secret closet full of wooden idols that you bow down and pray to. But I'm also betting that you do have a life full of distractions and ambitions that don't involve giving God His due: all your heart, mind, soul and strength. This requirement, of utmost importance, is found in the Old Testament and the New.

Deuteronomy 6:4

"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one! You shall love the LORD you God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength."

Matthew 22:37-38

"Jesus said to him, 'You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the first and great commandment."

Israel was failing miserably. I know that I have as well.

Jeremiah 2:32

"Can a virgin forget her ornaments
Or a bride her attire?
Yet My people have forgotten Me days without number."

There is hope, though, there always is. God didn't make a total end of His people. He preserved a remnant to bring back and reestablish. He makes a very similar offer to us, even if we have been chasing after other gods.

Jeremiah 3:1

"They say, 'If a man divorces his wife,
And she goes from him
And becomes another man's,
May he return to her again?'
Would not the land be greatly polluted?
But you have played the harlot with many lovers;
Yet return to Me, says the LORD."

God says, "Yet return to Me" no matter how thin we have spread our charms, no matter how many lovers we have chased apart from Him. A man cannot return to a wife he has divorced, but God will allow us to return to Him. No matter what.

Lamentations (Updated, Yes, Again)

I can only bear to do one post about the book of Lamentations. So here it is. But, just so you know, reading this post has the potential to ruin your day.

Lamentations is a short book, only 5 chapters long, which details the grief, anguish, indignities and horrors that the people in Jerusalem experienced while their city was under siege and then eventually destroyed. There are parts of it that are so horrible that they are hard to even read, much less think about.

Before the city was totally destroyed, the Babylonian army put it under siege for several months. This came at the same time as a famine, and the people who were trapped inside the city literally starved to death. There are verses that describe death by the sword as a fortunate fate compared to this slow starvation that the Israelites are experiencing. As a mother myself, the verses that talk about women literally eating their own children are really too much to bear.

Lamentations 4:10

"The hands of the compassionate women
Have cooked their own children;
They became food for them
In the destruction of the daughter of my people."

As horrid as that is, God warned the Israelites that this would happen. In Deuteronomy 28:57 God specifically lists this very thing as part of the curses He would bring down on Israel if they disobeyed Him. But we all know that Israel didn't pay any attention. Even with such wretched threats clearly laid out, the children of God disregarded His commands and did whatever they wanted.

Part of me just thinks, "What is wrong with these people? Its not like God hasn't explicitly told them what to do and not do! And not only that, but He keeps sending them prophets who warn that disaster is coming if they continue to disobey!"

Then I think about my own life. And the culture that I live in. And I stop casting stones at these people who lived thousands of years ago, but were still humans just like we are. Sigh.

I guess if you want to take a lesson from all of this destruction and heartache, it should be this: Sin is horrible. It causes terrible things to happen. The cost of it is always higher than we think it will be. And the cost of sin is very very real, for us, just as for those who came before us. No matter what small consequences we may face in this lifetime, for those who do not call upon Jesus Christ as their Savior, the full cost will be extracted after death.

I will say one surprising thing about the book of Lamentations. It contains at least one bright little gem gleaming from amidst the pain and death. There are a few verses about halfway through the book that must have served as the inspiration for one of my favorite hymns. I just never knew that these verses, so filled with hope and mercy, were to be found right here, in the middle of weeping and lament.

Lamentations 3:22-24

"Through the LORD's mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
'The LORD is my portion,' says my soul.
'Therefore I hope in Him!'"

Great is Your faithfulness, O God our Father
There is no shadow of turning with thee.
Thou changest not, thy compassions, they fail not,
As thou hast been thou forever will be.

Great is Your faithfulness
Great is Your faithfulness
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed thy hand has provided
Great is Your faithfulness
Lord unto me.


**OK, I can't stand to leave this post as is. After you've read the verses about mothers cooking and eating their babies, you are probably so horrified that you don't even know what to think. "Who is this God?" you might be thinking. "Can this possibly be the same God who we call Abba, Father?"

Well, yes it is exactly the same God. And I don't mean for this postscript to negate anything I said earlier about the consequences of sin. But, just so you don't walk around feeling sick for the rest of the day, read these verses, which also come from Lamentations.

Lamentations 3:31-33

"For the Lord will not cast off forever.
Though He causes grief,
Yet He will show compassion
According to the multitude of His mercies.
For He does not afflict willingly,
Nor grieve the children of man.

I should probably have made this a separate post, but since I'm not going to, here are three points to consider, very quickly:

1. God does not afflict willingly. The Israelites were many many generations into horrid sin and disgusting practices by the time God brought down this judgment on them.

2. God did bring about the famine and the siege. But He didn't make those women resort to cannibalism. They did that abomination on their own.

3. He had their ultimate good in mind even during this very painful time. He was purging His children of their sin, so that they could eventually be healed, restored, and blessed by Him again. He still does exactly this in our lives today. And I don't think it has gotten any easier.

Planting and Watering

1 Corinthians 3:6-8

"I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase. So then neither he who plants is anything, nor he who waters, but God who gives the increase. Now he who plants and he who waters are one, and each one will receive his own reward according to his own labor."


I have never considered myself a "planter," or an evangelist of any kind. I don't think that I'm relieved of an obligation to declare the gospel; it's just that it's not a natural gift of mine. Some people are incredibly gifted in evangelism, and we tend to think of the evangelist as the ones with the glamorous side of the equation. At least I tend to think so.

The image of a missionary in a foreign country proclaiming the Good News and winning dozens of souls is highly romantic indeed. And there are people who literally do that. I'm just not one of them. But note in the verses above, that watering is an important job, too. That's what my passion is--watering, as in nurturing, encouraging, learning and teaching with other Christians.

We see that God is the one who is responsible for the outcome-Paul is the one who planted, Apollos is the one who watered, but God was divinely in charge of any growth that occurred. What a privilege it is that God even uses us at all. He could just make it happen, but He has chosen us as His divine instruments to accomplish His plan. And above and beyond the privilege of just being of use to God, there is more in store at the end, but we will get to that in a minute.

As I read these verses, another scripture immediately sprung to mind.

Isaiah 55: 10-11

"For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven,
And do not return there,
But water the earth,
And make it bring forth and bud,
That it may give seed to the sower
And bread to the eater,
So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
It shall not return to Me void,
But is shall accomplish what I please,
And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it."

Notice that again we have the "watering" analogy, only this time God is the actual waterer. And the tool He uses to accomplish what He pleases is: His word. That is exactly what He still uses to accomplish what He pleases in the hearts of men. And sometimes, He uses one of His servants (that would be you and me) to proclaim His word and bring forth the increase/bud. (I say sometimes He uses us because, certainly, God could drive someone to pick up Scripture and read it without the influence of another person.)

But here is the amazing part for each of us, whether we are called to plant or to water.

Just to make the point fine, let me add here that God's word for us is the Bible, and the Bible alone. I don't want to cause any confusion on that score.

OK, did you notice the last part of the passage from 1 Corinthians? "And each one will receive his own reward according to his own labor" The part that I found so encouraging is that our reward is based on our labor, not on the outcome of our labor. See the difference?

One Christian may work diligently and be blessed to see massive fruit from the work he or she does. She may write books that get published, and receive dozens of letters thanking her for her godly influence every week. Or, he may see entire communities or families come to Christ and be thanked by them in this life.

On the other hand, another Christian may toil away without seeing much progress, without enjoying any outwardly apparent success.

But it doesn't matter what each of their outcomes are, because God takes responsibility for the outcomes. We are to do the work regardless of the outcomes. And in the end, it is not the results that get rewarded, it is the labor.

We can see this principle again in Matthew 25:23, when Jesus says during the telling of a parable, "well done, good and faithful servant." He doesn't say, well done good and successful servant. Nope, He says, well done good and faithful servant.

What a relief! And what an amazing twist. God is responsible for the outcome, and we get to receive a reward just for doing the labor.

I'm Sorry...(Yet Again)

I have been working with God on the problem of pride lately. This is sort of an ongoing struggle for me. I think its probably a common sin to get wrapped up in. But I don't want anything at all to do with it. So I try to keep a close eye out for ways pride might be creeping in to my life. I can claim some victory here, things are much better than they used to be. But still, some sins are just a life long struggle, and pride just might be one of my ongoing construction zones.

I had a victory this morning! Its a small thing really, but its the small things that lead to bigger things, so I'm going to celebrate where I can.

It all started about 5 or 6 weeks ago. I was at the grocery store, pushing a cart full of groceries, with two wiggly kids, heading for the checkout isle. I also happened to be in the midst of a horrendous sinus infection. So I was kinda primed to act not-so-nice. That is when it happened.

I was about one cart length from the end of the checkout line, clearly about to enter it. A woman with an equally full grocery cart approached appearing as though she needed to pass through the line and keep going. I politely backed my cart up and gave a little wave of my hand to indicate that she could cut through before I officially got in line.

To my great dismay, instead of cutting through and passing by, she stole my place in line! I couldn't believe it! I still can't decide if she was taking advantage of me or if she really thought that a hunched over woman, with two highly active kiddos, a cart full of groceries, and tissues in both hands really intended for a relaxed, well-dressed, no children luggin' woman to just go on ahead. Anyway, being the restrained southern belle that I am, I seethed and thought ugly thoughts at her instead of saying anything.

Naturally, by the time I got to the front of the line, it was time for the cashier to end her shift. So I had to stand there another several minutes waiting for the drawer to be switched out. The very friendly and polite check out woman gave me a big smile and said, "It'll just take a minute, I'll be right with you."

I scowled at her. Then I let out a big exasperated sigh to make sure she understood how displeased I was with this whole scenario. She got my drift. Her smile disappeared, she started moving very quickly, and she didn't say another word to me. The equally cheery bag boy gave me a big grin and said, "How are you this morning? Do you want paper of plastic?"

"Paper," I whisper-shouted, because I was pretty sick, remember.

"You sound terrible," he helpfully added.

I just glared and him and decided I had said enough. We walked tersely to the car and I drove away in a grumpy funk.

I hope I don't have to tell you that I felt bad about it, almost as soon as I got home. It has bothered me ever since. I hate it when people are rude to customer service employees. I've worked in those types of jobs several times, and I know the abuse that gets heaped on them. I didn't want to be one of those rude, angry customers.

But every week, when I have seen that same woman working in the check out line, I have deliberately gone through another aisle. I was afraid she would remember me as that mean, loudly-sighing woman. And I was too proud to apologize for my rudeness.

Until today. As I have been praying about keeping my pride in check and cultivating a humble heart, God kept pricking my conscience about that grocery store incident. It was a sort of, "how can you ask me to use you in mighty ways and root out the pride in your heart when you are too stubborn to even apologize to a stranger, much less someone who is close to you?"

So I decided to offer her an apology. I prayed that she would be working this morning. There she was when I walked in the door. As I wove through the grocery isles, I kept checking to make sure she was still there. She was. As I finished getting everything on my grocery list and headed to check out, I was all primed and pumped up to give her an apology. But suddenly, she walked away from her register!

Confused, I made a hard right back into the frozen food section and looked at some truly disgusting frozen stuffed mushrooms for a few moments. After reading the ingredients and turning the mushroom box around a few times, the cashier came back to her line. Whew!

As she was scanning my items, I did it. I offered her an apology. She seemed confused at first, but eventually she understood what I was saying. Of course she couldn't remember the incident, I really didn't expect her to. She said she always figures someone is just having a bad day when they act ugly. But she smiled and thanked me for apologizing. I had shared with her that I was sick that particular day.

Right before I walked off, she asked, "Are you feeling better now?"

"Oh, yes," I answered. In more ways than one.

Proverbs 29:23

"A man's pride brings him low,
but a man of lowly spirit gains honor."

Psalm 23

Psalm 23:4

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thou art with me; Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me"

This is a good example of a verse that most Christians, and many non-Christians are very familiar with. Kind of like John 3:16. If someone said to you, "Yea, though I walk..." You could probably finish the rest of that sentence automatically.

I get several email devotionals, and one of them spent a whole week focusing on the 23 Psalm. So naturally, I spent some time thinking about the meaning of the words in Psalm 23. Specifically, I was intrigued by the idea of a "rod" and a "staff" bringing comfort. What does that really mean?

The analogy of a staff bringing comfort made immediate sense, I can easily picture the staff as a tool that guides sheep, directing them to safety, away from danger, and thus "comforting" them. But the rod struck me as an odd tool for bringing comfort. I have always associated the rod with discipline and rebuke, not with comfort. So I decided to look up the original Hebrew and see if I could shed some light on this all too familiar verse.

Here is what I discovered.

The Hebrew word for rod used here is shebet. It can mean several things including a stick, for punishing, writing, fighting, ruling, walking, etc... It can also figuratively mean a clan. This word shebet is used in Proverbs 13:24:

"Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him."

I found that very interesting. Is it the discipline of the LORD that David finds comforting? That puts a different twist on things, doesn't it?

Moving on to the word "staff", I found the original Hebrew word mishenah. It means support, or sustenance. That makes sense. The support of the LORD is comforting to David.

But what does the word "comfort" really mean? This, to me, was the most interesting find of all. It left me with a few more questions than answers.

Before I say any more, let me give you this disclaimer. I don't know anything about Bible translation. I don't know how the people who translated Psalms from Hebrew to English chose which meaning to assign to each word. But now that I have started looking into the original language, I find the topic fascinating. I'll have to find someone who knows something about it and pick his or her brain.

OK, that being said, let me continue. The Hebrew word for comfort is nacham. Some of its meanings include to sigh, breathe strongly, by implication to be sorry, to pity, to console, avenge, comfort, repent. There is our word "comfort," way down there on the list of potential meanings.

But I found a lot of verses in the Old Testament that used the word nacham in a totally different way. Here is one of them:

Genesis 6:6

"And the LORD was sorry that he had made man of the earth, and it grieved him to his heart."

There the word nacham is used in one of it's more common translations "to be sorry" or "repent."

Wow, doesn't that idea mix things up for Psalm 23? Read the verse this way and see what you think:

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; Your discipline and your support, they cause me to repent.

I personally think that repenting and comfort work very well together. After all, God promises to forgive us when we repent and confess. That comforts me a great deal. Because no matter what I do, I know there will never be a time in this life when I will be without sin. It's just part of living in this present flesh.

And I know from experience that sometimes the most effective way to bring repentance is with a little application of discipline. In fact, I may go so far as to say that sometimes that is the only way to bring repentance. Read the book of Judges sometime. It is pitifully clear that the rod of discipline was the only way God could keep the wayward Israelites from committing all sorts of atrocities.

But, because God is merciful and gracious, He promises to always include the staff of His comfort in the mix. The perfect combination: discipline and support. Sounds a lot like a loving Father to me.

I don't think I will ever read the 23 Psalm quite the same way again.

A Tight Rope

The Christian life calls for such a tightrope walk sometimes. Where exactly is the line between works and grace? Or, how do we strive toward heaven, without disregarding the here and now? Where are we supposed to draw the line between enjoying the blessings God has given us, and indulging in excessive luxury? Is it OK to spend time playing tennis, when I could be using that time to disciple a young believer? All of it calls for balance, right? Well, I think there are some things that leave no room for balance, but rather, are clearly meant to be all consuming.

I read these verses the other night.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9

"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one! You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.

And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."


I don't think that leaves much wiggle room. I don't see any indication that we are supposed to take a balanced approach to "these words." This section of scripture is found just after Moses has been recounting to the Israelites the commandments, statutes, and judgments of the LORD. I think it is safe to say that our modern equivalent of those things is the Bible.

Here is how I would break down these verses.

*Love the LORD your God emotionally, practically, actively, with all that you are, and with all of your mind, perspective, and thought life.

*Make these words a part of your heart, as in, part of your emotional understanding, part of what is inside you that drives and motivates you.

*Teach the scripture to your children!!!!

*Talk about the scripture in your home, with those closest to you, with those you love, as part of your everyday life. To me this means regularly, all the time, as a matter of habit. (when you sit in your house)

*Talk about and live according to scripture as you go about your daily business, your routines, your errands, your job! (when you walk by the way)

*Even in your recreation, and times of rest, seek after and love God! (this would be my take on "when you lie down")

*Make it part of the action of your hands: all your works, your accomplishments, your dealings, for me this would include housework, changing diapers, taking care of home and family.

*"frontlets between your eyes"-This one is convicting. Think about what you spend your time looking at, watching, absorbing. TV? Not much of it would be acceptable if we truly looked at it through a veil of scripture, would it? Another way of looking at this-do your frame your opinions (view things) based on what God says, or on what man says?

*God's word should be what we build our homes and home life upon. Our family life should revolve around it. We should be a home and family that proclaims the truth of God's Word in our daily living, our private family time, and our "gates"-the things the world sees when they observe us.

Listen, I am not perfect at this. But, I get the fact that my relationship to God is not subject to being balanced with other things in my life. It is not part of my life, it is my life. It is not part of what I believe, it is the basis of everything I believe. It is not a thing that I participate in, it drives and directs everything else that I do, every part of my life.

That makes me strange in today's culture. Even among many other Christians. The idol of a balanced life has unfortunately crept into our idea of religion.

God does not want us to be balanced. Not when it comes to Him: all your heart, soul, strength. Doesn't leave much else...

Repairer of the Breach

Isaiah 58: 9-12

"Then you shall call, and the LORD will answer;
You shall cry, and He will say, "Here I am."

If you take away the yoke from your midst,
The pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness,
If you extend your soul to the hungry
And satisfy the afflicted soul,
Then your light shall dawn in the darkness,
And you darkness shall be as the noonday.
The LORD will guide you continually,
And satisfy your soul in drought,
And strengthen your bones;
You shall be like a watered garden,
And like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.
Those from among you
Shall build the old waste places;
You shall raise up the foundations of many generations;
And you shall be called the Repairer of the Breach,
The Restorer of Streets to Dwell In."


I read this passage of scripture last week and it grabbed my attention. I have not been able to get it out of my mind. There are a lot of reasons for that. I don't think I could cover all of the riches in this passage in one post. Well, I could, but then I would have to neglect other things that need taking care of around here!

I have been experiencing a great churning of my heart lately. I don't know how else to describe it. About a year ago I experienced something that I have a hard time describing. The closest I can come, is to compare it to an explosion that happened inside of me. A spiritual explosion. I have been set on fire for God and His Word. I know that this is the pouring out of the Holy Spirit because I know that it is not from within myself. And that all things related to faith are a gift from God, and not of our own doing, or earning.

I have been at a loss as to why this powerful thing has happened to me. Part of the reason is because I don't sense this same thing happening in the people around me. I'm talking about people who are Christians, and love the LORD, and seek Him diligently. I don't see in them what I am experiencing in myself. And that makes me think that God is working this mighty work in my heart for a specific reason.

Maybe I have it all wrong. Maybe this is how all Christians are supposed to feel all the time. And maybe what I am experiencing is supposed to be the norm for Christians. But if it is supposed to be, I don't think it is. I see so many fellow believers struggling with unbelief, prayerlessness, doubt, dissatisfaction and just plain old lack of interest in things spiritual. I feel like I am the one who is out of the ordinary.

I'll tell you this much. I don't ever want to lose this. It is better than anything else I have ever experienced. I can understand why Christians are able to willingly become martyrs. I can say with conviction that God's lovingkindness is better than life.

So back to the purpose of this post, being the Repairer of the Breach. I suspect that God may be preparing me for some kind of ministry. I haven't been able to confess that to anyone yet. I don't want to get ahead of God. I also don't think that being called to ministry means being called to some kind of flashy, high-profile position. I think that right now I am being faithful by leading two Bible Study groups. I have also been actively pursuing relationships with other godly women. I have also started taking a writing course, which could certainly prove to be something that God uses me to minister through. I just don't know yet.

But I do know this. That nothing can change or shake the plan of the LORD. And I can rest assured that by obeying Him, I am pursuing His plan for my life. What it looks like now and what it looks like five years from now may be drastically different. But He will accomplish what He will accomplish. I don't have to worry about missing some mysterious "signs" or "clues" that God has laid out for me.

Ecclesiastes 3:14-15

"I know that whatever God does,
It shall be forever.
Nothing can be added to it,
And nothing taken from it.
God does it, that men should fear before Him.
That which is has already been,
And what is to be has already been;
And God requires an account of what is past."

So where does that leave me? Well, with a churning heart for one thing. And also with a realization that if God is going to use me, I have a lot of work to do. I feel like I am getting a late start. Why have I wasted so much of my life just flitting from thing to thing? I haven't even read the entire Bible!


But I would love to be called a Repairer of the Breach. What a title.