My Beloved

Song of Solomon 1:16-17

"Behold, you are handsome, my beloved!
Yes, pleasant!
Also our bed is green.
The beams of our houses are cedar,
And our rafters of fir."

Today is my 9 year anniversary. I woke up this morning thinking about the morning of my wedding. It was not any kind of peaceful idyllic day for me. I was stressed out and a bunch of little things went wrong. One thing in particular makes for a funny story, but its too long to tell right now. I can even see the stress in my eyes when I look back at my wedding pictures. Its kind of a shame.

But, the good news is, the quality of my marriage has had nothing whatsoever to do with the quality of my wedding celebration. Despite my own being less than perfect, I love to attend weddings. I think I cry at every one of them. And I look at the new couple and think, "You have no idea what's in store for you!"

Overall, my marriage has been wonderful. It has improved dramatically over the years as we have both matured and developed. Sometimes its been difficult, sometimes its been hysterically fun, sometimes I've wanted to kick the kitchen cabinets (one time I actually did, but I was pregnant and having hormonal rage issues at the time, so I'm not sure it counts) and other times I've wanted to devour my husband with tenderness.

I would be lying if I told you that our relationship is perfect. We are both normal people, we have our faults. I know that he would like me to be a better housekeeper. I would love for him to deal with stress better.

In the earliest years of our marriage, I made many mistakes. I had it in my head that once we were married, my life would crystallize into perfection somehow. What a foolish idea! In retrospect, the more satisfaction and contentment I tried to suck out of my marriage, the unhappier I became with it. Because my husband, who I love and respect very much, is just a person. He can't possibly be all in all for me. When I realized that, and took him off a pedestal, and set him on level ground, our relationship dramatically improved.

Slugging through some very hard times together has also done wonders for us. In fact, the hard times have done much more to improve our relationship than any fun vacation or romantic dinner ever has. Strange, isn't it? You would assume it worked the other way around. (Don't go getting any ideas, honey, I'm still expecting dinners and the occasional getaway.)

But you know what has made the biggest impact? Grace. The same kind that God extends to us as His beloved children. I choose to admire and dwell on the things that are delightful in my husband: He works hard for our family. He has a very tender heart (shh, that is a big secret.) He loves our children. He is committed to me. He is growing and maturing as a Christian. He is viciously funny and we laugh together often. He is intelligent and interesting. He has lots of offbeat hobbies. He is sober minded and takes things seriously when the situation calls for it. He is firm and unwavering when he believes in something strongly. He is also willing to listen when I have advice to share. I trust him completely. He is ravishingly handsome (I think I'm very blessed to have him.)

I wouldn't trade him. In sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, in good times and in bad, I'm claiming my man. I'll take him any way God chooses to give him to me.

Song of Solomon 5:16

"His mouth is most sweet,
Yes, he is altogether lovely.
This is my beloved,
And this is my friend,
O daughters of Jerusalem."

Song of Solomon 7: 11-13

"Come, my beloved,
Let us go forth to the field;
Let us lodge in the villages.
Let us get up early to the vineyards;
Let us see if the vine has budded,
Whether the grape blossoms are open,
And the pomegranates are in bloom.
There I will give you my love.
The mandrakes give off a fragrance,
And at our gates are pleasant fruits,
All manner, new and old,
Which I have laid up for you, my beloved."

Because He Loves Me

I wasn't planning to post anything today. But I just can't help myself this morning. I got the best present from my husband. And it was a total surprise which makes it even more special, because I wasn't expecting it, and because I am very difficult to truly surprise. (I have a sixth sense about things.)

Waiting for me on the kitchen table, where I read my Bible in the morning, was a jewelry box beautifully wrapped in ribbon. I guessed what was in it before I opened it, but I was still delighted when I cracked open the box. It contained the tiniest diamond cross you can image. It was intended to be worn by a child, that is how tiny it is. I had seen one like it in a jewelry store a few weeks ago and just fell in love with it. Not because it is showy or expensive, which I normally like very much in jewelry, but because it seemed like a precious and tiny treasure to be worn over the heart, something that can be secretive and discrete, but is still radiant and beautiful, even if it is hidden by a sweater. And it is a cross. I can't imagine a more potent love symbol than the cross.

I have never owned a cross pendant before, and before now I have never really thought they were a big deal or wanted one. But now, it is my favorite piece of jewelry, because it represents two things for me. The love of my husband, which is more precious to me than all the diamonds in the world, and the love of my Saviour, which is even more precious to me than my beloved husband.

So on Valentine's Day, my dear husband, please know that I love you with all of my heart. You are a good man and we have a good life together. I don't want anything more than what we have.

But it is the love of God, powerfully and amazingly expressed by the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross, that awes and overwhelms me. There truly is no greater love.

Way Better Than Sleeping Beauty

We are planning a trip to Disney in the not too far off future. As part of our preparation for the trip, I've been letting my daughter watch some of the classic Walt Disney princess movies. I thought she would enjoy seeing the characters at the park if she had some idea of who they actually were.

I can tell that my "way has been narrowing," by my reaction to these stories that I used to love so much. If there was ever a die-hard princess romance fan, it was me from age 7 to about 14. Yes, really! As a 13 year old I was still enthralled by The Little Mermaid. But as I read The Little Mermaid to my daughter this past week, I was pretty horrified. Ariel blatantly rebels against her father, she keeps a treasured collection of forbidden human items and she seeks out and makes a deal with her father's enemy, the sea witch. At about this point in the story, I'm wondering to my myself: "Why, exactly, is this a character I want my daughter to admire?"

Don 't worry, I'm not a total party pooper. I kept my self righteous indignation to myself. After all, these stories are meant to be fun entertainment, not life lessons. And I loved them as a girl. So I suppose I should let my daughter have her own shot at romantic fantasy. BUT, I think I will gently add a commentary about Ariel's foolish choices, versus what God commands us to do. (Fortunately, I think my daughter is much less attracted to princesses than I was.)

All this to say, that the Bible has much better romantic love stories. And the ones in the Bible really happened, to real women. Some of them even involve princesses. They also involve truth, tension, mystery, suspense, obedience, rebellion, mercy, grace, sin, restoration, etc... In other words, they are way better than Sleeping Beauty!

A perfect case in point. I read through the book of Ruth this past week. What a delightful book! I think it is one of my new favorites. There is so much in those 4 short chapters. I'm not going to sum up the entire book in this one post, and I have written about Ruth and Naomi before.

Instead, let me extract a few of my favorite passages, and flesh them out.

Ruth 1:20-21

"But she said to them, "Do not call me Naomi, call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went out full, and the LORD has brought me home again empty. Why do you call me Naomi, since the LORD has testified against me, and the Almighty has afflicted me?"

A jolt went through me when I read that verse. It captured, in one (well, technically two) sentences, the way I felt after my first child was born. I had left home one morning, expecting a regular day, heavily pregnant. And by that night, my child had been delivered and my arms were empty. She was in the NICU. I had been full, and suddenly I was empty. I felt like the Almighty had afflicted me and dealt bitterly with me.

Whether those emotions were justified or not, that is exactly how I felt for many months. Now, with the perspective of several years, I see that day as the beginning of amazing blessings that the LORD was waiting to pour out on me. But then, I just felt empty, and afflicted.

This whole passage comes into clearer focus if you realize that the name Naomi means "pleasant" and the name Mara means "bitter."

Another powerful verse:

(This happens when Ruth and Boaz first meet, when Boaz extends great kindness to her)

Ruth 2:10

"So she fell on her face, bowed down to the ground, and said to him, "Why have I found favor in your eyes, that you should take notice of me, since I am a foreigner?"

Whoa! Don't you feel like that sometimes when you approach God? I do. Why should God take notice of me? I am a foreigner. In more ways than one. I'm a Gentile, I was born under wrath by nature, I certainly have never done anything that would deserve God's grace. And yet, He has extended it to me, overwhelmingly.

I'm going to share one more verse, this time one that just made me smile. This verse is Naomi speaking to Ruth, after Ruth has gone to Boaz and asked him to become her husband and through her, provide Naomi with an heir (since both of Naomi's own sons had died.) It was the tradition of the day that if a married man died childless, his closest male relation would take the widow as a wife and any children born from their union would be considered the heir of the dead man. Got that? Yeah, I know, it's hard for us 21st century gals to relate.

Ruth 3:18

"Then she said, "Sit still, my daughter, until you know how the matter will turn out; for the man will not rest until he has concluded the matter this day."

That just cracks me up. I think it must have been obvious to Naomi that Boaz was smitten with Ruth. After all, we know that Ruth was lovely, that she was hard working, and that she was well known as a "virtuous woman." Being called a virtuous woman in Ruth's day expressed the same sentiment that was meant when a man was called "a man of great wealth." In other words, it was very high praise indeed. I just love the picture of a smitten Boaz, deliberately setting out to clear the final hurdle that lay between him and claiming Ruth as a wife. If you want the details, Read chapter 4. Boaz was a pretty crafty guy.

And to top off the book of Ruth, we even have a fairy tale ending. Ruth and Boaz get married, and Ruth becomes pregnant with a son, providing Naomi with an heir. The best part of all? Ruth, who started out as a foreigner, a Moabite, gets grafted in to the family line of the King of Kings--Jesus. Wow. Disney ain't got nothin on God.