Blessed are those

Matthew 5:3-12

"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
For they shall be comforted,
Blessed are the meek,
For they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
For they shall be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
For they shall obtain mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
For they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
For they shall be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness sake,
For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you."

Whoa. That is a lot to take in. Certainly too much for me to cover in one post. But one part in particular has been running through my head all morning. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.

I do hunger and thirst for righteousness, but I haven't always. For most of my life I thought righteous people were boring people. They had no fun, they sat around and followed directions, did exactly as they were told. (And looked down their upturned noses at the rest of us.) They didn't take risks or do anything exciting. Blah, blah, bland, boring, beige people.

Silly me. I had no idea that it was the righteous who were free to enjoy life. But I don't want to get distracted here, that is not what I want to post about.

I remember vividly the first time that I longed for righteousness. I wanted it more than anything I had ever wanted before. And in that same moment I hated my sin with passion. I regretted every sinful thought, action or intent. I hated, hated, hated sin.

It happened right after my oldest child was born. She was premature, born under dramatic circumstances, and in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) in a hospital hours away from my home. She was hooked up to all kinds of machines, with wires, needles and tubes going in and out all over her tiny, helpless body. If you have ever had a child hospitalized with life threatening complications, you will understand how I felt. I was terrified, traumatized and numb all at the same time. I couldn't understand why this was happening to me. I never expected it, it had come out of nowhere and turned my entire being upside down.

I will never forget one morning when I was trying my best to get dressed so I could go see my infant daughter in the hospital. It hurt just to move. (You c-section mamas will know what I'm talking about.) But I did not have the luxury of resting. The only way to see my tiny little girl was to get up, get dressed and get to the hospital. I felt so alone. I sat on the edge of my bed and sang "Great is Thy Faithfulness" with tears streaming down my cheeks. Nobody was around to hear it. I sang it just for myself, and for God. I knew the words were true, even though I did not necessarily feel them emotionally at that moment. Feeling and knowing are not always the same thing.

It was in that moment that I hated sin. Please don't misunderstand me. I know that God was not punishing me for my specific sin. God does not do that. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise. Romans 8:1 "There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus." But the reason that painful, terrible things happen in life is because our entire world is under the curse of sin. Someday there will be a new heaven and a new earth that exist perfectly without the curse of sin. But until then, we are called to live this life in faith, trusting God and exhibiting His glory to a lost and dying world.

That day I understood for the first time what it means to huger and thirst for righteousness. I was already a Christian, and had been for many years when my daughter was born. But I had never really been confronted personally with the ugliness and suffering that sin produces. (Remember, not my specific sin, but sin in general.) Sure bad things had happened to me in my life, I had felt negative emotions and experienced negative things, but nothing even came close to hurting the way this did. Seeing your child suffer is unlike anything I can describe.

It was the beginning of tremendous spiritual growth for me. It was hard, harder than I even care to think about most of the time. It would be many months before my life began to resemble anything like the normal life of a new mother. And even when my life did settle down, I was forever a different person. I had been changed in many, many ways. One way was my genuine hunger and thirst for righteousness. And let me tell you, I have been filled. To the brim!

Great is they faithfulness, O God my Father;
there is no shadow of turning with thee;
thou changest not, thy compassions they fail not;
as thou hast been thou forever will be.
Great is thy faithfulness!
Great is they faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see:
all I have needed they hand hath provided--
Great is they faithfulness Lord unto me!

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
sun, moon, and stars in their courses above,
join with all nature in manifold witness
to thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide,
strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
blessings all mine and ten thousand beside!

In case you are wondering, my daughter is perfectly healthy now. But even if she were not, God would still be faithful. I mean that.