My Beloved

Song of Solomon 1:16-17

"Behold, you are handsome, my beloved!
Yes, pleasant!
Also our bed is green.
The beams of our houses are cedar,
And our rafters of fir."

Today is my 9 year anniversary. I woke up this morning thinking about the morning of my wedding. It was not any kind of peaceful idyllic day for me. I was stressed out and a bunch of little things went wrong. One thing in particular makes for a funny story, but its too long to tell right now. I can even see the stress in my eyes when I look back at my wedding pictures. Its kind of a shame.

But, the good news is, the quality of my marriage has had nothing whatsoever to do with the quality of my wedding celebration. Despite my own being less than perfect, I love to attend weddings. I think I cry at every one of them. And I look at the new couple and think, "You have no idea what's in store for you!"

Overall, my marriage has been wonderful. It has improved dramatically over the years as we have both matured and developed. Sometimes its been difficult, sometimes its been hysterically fun, sometimes I've wanted to kick the kitchen cabinets (one time I actually did, but I was pregnant and having hormonal rage issues at the time, so I'm not sure it counts) and other times I've wanted to devour my husband with tenderness.

I would be lying if I told you that our relationship is perfect. We are both normal people, we have our faults. I know that he would like me to be a better housekeeper. I would love for him to deal with stress better.

In the earliest years of our marriage, I made many mistakes. I had it in my head that once we were married, my life would crystallize into perfection somehow. What a foolish idea! In retrospect, the more satisfaction and contentment I tried to suck out of my marriage, the unhappier I became with it. Because my husband, who I love and respect very much, is just a person. He can't possibly be all in all for me. When I realized that, and took him off a pedestal, and set him on level ground, our relationship dramatically improved.

Slugging through some very hard times together has also done wonders for us. In fact, the hard times have done much more to improve our relationship than any fun vacation or romantic dinner ever has. Strange, isn't it? You would assume it worked the other way around. (Don't go getting any ideas, honey, I'm still expecting dinners and the occasional getaway.)

But you know what has made the biggest impact? Grace. The same kind that God extends to us as His beloved children. I choose to admire and dwell on the things that are delightful in my husband: He works hard for our family. He has a very tender heart (shh, that is a big secret.) He loves our children. He is committed to me. He is growing and maturing as a Christian. He is viciously funny and we laugh together often. He is intelligent and interesting. He has lots of offbeat hobbies. He is sober minded and takes things seriously when the situation calls for it. He is firm and unwavering when he believes in something strongly. He is also willing to listen when I have advice to share. I trust him completely. He is ravishingly handsome (I think I'm very blessed to have him.)

I wouldn't trade him. In sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, in good times and in bad, I'm claiming my man. I'll take him any way God chooses to give him to me.

Song of Solomon 5:16

"His mouth is most sweet,
Yes, he is altogether lovely.
This is my beloved,
And this is my friend,
O daughters of Jerusalem."

Song of Solomon 7: 11-13

"Come, my beloved,
Let us go forth to the field;
Let us lodge in the villages.
Let us get up early to the vineyards;
Let us see if the vine has budded,
Whether the grape blossoms are open,
And the pomegranates are in bloom.
There I will give you my love.
The mandrakes give off a fragrance,
And at our gates are pleasant fruits,
All manner, new and old,
Which I have laid up for you, my beloved."