Talk about getting a full dose from one Psalm. Psalm 145 is packed so full of good stuff that my mind was jumping from one line to the next and just trying to keep up this morning! I want to unpack a single verse of the Psalm that really got my attention.
Psalm 145:4
"One generation shall praise Your works to another,
And shall declare Your mighty acts."
If you have kids, and you are a Christian, I'm willing to bet that you have read at least one Christian parenting book. There are lots of good ones out there. Some better than others. And maybe this idea that I'm about to explore has already been written about extensively and I have just managed to miss it somehow. I'll admit that my husband is the avid reader in this household. I'm an obsessive reader, which means that I am practically unable to put down a book once I have started it. This causes all sorts of problems, so I save my reading for blocks of time when I can really indulge. If you have preschoolers like I do, you know that those blocks of time are few and faaaaar between. Anyhoo...
I'll be blunt. One of God's mighty acts has been redeeming me from the pit of destruction. If you are a Christian, you should be able to say the same thing. Now, we've all been pulled out of slightly different looking pits, but the bottom line is that all of our pits involved the biggest sin of all--loving self more than loving God. (Matthew 22:37)
On top of that most egregious sin, we have each managed to heap up all sorts of muck, mire and slime that God had to pull us out of. (Psalm 40:2) For some of us, the muck is harder to see outwardly, but you can bet it has manifested itself in our hearts. For others, well, they may never get to the point where their public sins are completely forgotten by those around them.
But, whether our sins are in our heart or in our actions, we have this cultural pressure to hide them away and never speak of them again. Why is that? I know that there must be a healthy balance between declaring the mighty acts of God versus pulling out our filth for the whole world to gawk at. And specifically, I wonder if we should be more open and honest with our children.
Psalm 145:4 is specifically talking about generations. One generation praising God's work to the next generation. Naturally that includes all of the famous mighty works, the stories in the Bible. But there are mighty works that are personal to our families--the change that God has brought about in each of us because of His great power to change, restore, redeem and recreate. And that makes me wonder if our cultural tendency to present ourselves as untarnished pillars of righteousness (particularly to our children) is perhaps misplaced?
I'm not talking about glorifying our sin. And I certainly realize that every disclosure and interaction with our children MUST be age appropriate. But isn't there a way to declare the mighty acts of God in our lives to our children without stepping over that line?
I don't know the whole answer here. My kids are still little ones. Some of you have raised up children that have gone on to start their own family. What do you think?
**If you don't have kids, this concept can still apply to you in the way you interact with fellow believers and the world at large.
GPS…FINALLY!!!!
9 years ago
3 comments:
Last year, my senior son experienced a "sin" in his life that caused him some embarassment and, consequently, s deep repentance. When I picked him up from school, God opened the door for me to share with him about some of my past sins and how they rooted back to my pride...my selfishness (as you so eloquently posted). I couldn't have shared that with him when he was younger, but I knew that he was now at a point of understanding.
We pass on our faith to our children. Part of that process, is sharing with them our own journey of grace. If we can't articulate it...really grasp the concept of God's unmerited favor on our behalf...then I question whether we've ever experienced the depths of it as God has intended.
Parenting is hard, but it is a sacred privilege. And giving my children the gift of Jesus is the most important offering I can make to them.
Thank you for your thoughtful post. I am heading back to chew on it a little more.
peace~elaine
Hmm. Well, I'm not sure I agree with the idea that our culture pressures people to present themselves as flawless pillars...to be honest, I'd say it's rather the opposite -- a "confessional culture". I forget where I read this, but sociologist have noted that this tendency began with Phil Donohue, and reached epidemic proportions with "Oprah", Dr. Phil, and other talk shows. Airing your dirsty laundry in public (on a national scale, if possible) seems to have become a trend, as is the self-abasement/glorifying "testimony" book in which the addict/alcoholic etc. portrays him/herself as a suffering martyr with a "disease". Society lauds people in rehab as "heroes", and I think that feeds into this morbid fascination with our own and other people's weaknesses.Part of it is that people are naturally self-absorbed.
Christians aren't immune to this, either - I was in Campus Crusade for Christ in college, and the "5-minute testimonies" followed a predictable pattern. It almost seemed like a competition for who was the worst sinner at times, and having the most "dramatic" testimony.
In one's own family, though, I think you're on to something. Telling our kids the truth about our past (and giving God the glory for the transformation, obviously) is much harder than telling all for a bunch of strangers. I would think it's more humbling. But it is important (perhaps they don't need all the sordid detail, but we ought to tell them enough information for them to have a clear picture, and make it clear that while we've repented, it is much better to just stay on the straight and narrow from the beginning.)
I have not yet told my oldest (11-year-old) daughter about my eating disorder history, but will need to in due time. More importantly, my husband and I have a history of impurity....and we want to see our kids remain pure. This very subject (honesty w/ the kids about our sin) came up a few months ago, when we were expecting unmarried house guests. Answering my intention to put them in separate rooms as we have kids (I didn't want them to see me condoning unmarried people sleeping together), my husband said "Well, remember that YOU were doing the same thing!" (We shacked up before marriage, something that even now, 13 years later, I still carry shame for).
I responded that I've done lots of things I'm not proud of, but that doesn't make it any less wrong and I don't want our kids to repeat my (our) mistakes. That led to a rather liberating conversation, in which he told me that I then needed to be honest w/ the kids when these discussions (about sex and purity come up), and not mask the fact I'd made mistakes. Why liberating? Because that is the first time, in all our marriage, that we've ever mentioned that part of our past and confronted it as sin. (I was a professing Christian at the time, too, so I knew it was wrong and didn't care).
So I think we do owe it to our kids and be honest with them about our past -- never to rationalize, justify or glorify the sin, but only ever to point up God's healing and redeeming work in our lives and to warn them. Sure, there's no sin that can't be forgiven; but isn't it better to be forewarned and keep walking with God?
I'm so proud of you Marie! I promise I am not being cheesy-I mean it is hard (but so very freeing!) to have an honest discussion with your husband about past sin and really deal with it from a redeemed perspective.
I sooooo want my children to remain sexually pure until marriage. I think that our generation of mothers and fathers are going to have to be much more open and unembarrassed about sexuality with our kids than the past few generations have been. I can't speak for every family, but I think it is probably safe to say that the topic of sex is embarrassing for most parents to deal with their children on. But if our kids are exposed to this culture we live in AT ALL, they are going to be exposed to the lies that are being pounded into our heads about sex and sexuality.
And I think we are going to have to get over our discomfort and deal with the topic openly from a Biblical and godly perspective. Where else are they going to get it? I've already started, I hope, by being very frank with my little ones about their bodies, etc.
And, let me tell you, I am going to cover this area with all kinds of prayer!
To change the subject, your CC testimony story kind of cracked me up. My husband accused me of having "testimony lust" one night after I had heard some really dramatic testimonies. (I became a Christian as a small child.) He teases me that I wish I had some grand and sordid tale to tell about God rescuing me from a life of crime and prostitution. He's totally wrong, by the way!
And to peace--thank you for sharing as well!
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