Some Proverbial Wisdom

I've been reading through Proverbs lately. It really isn't well suited to a quick read through. Rather, I think Proverbs should be savored and taken apart slowly. But if I did that, I would never get through the whole thing, much less the whole Bible.

So here for your savory enjoyment are two small sections of Proverbs I want to explore. Not exhaustively, mind you. I wouldn't even begin to think I was qualified to do that. This is just MY little perspective.

Proverbs 25:20

"Like one who takes away a garment in cold weather,
And like vinegar on soda,
Is one who sings songs to a heavy heart."

This is something that we have all been guilty of. Even I have done it, and I know better from personal experience. What I am talking about is that incessant need we have to talk about the "silver lining" in whatever circumstance we or our friends face. You know what I mean. Those sentiments that begin with, "Well, at least....didn't happen." Let me give you a specific example.

When my first child was born, under emergency circumstances, and with some medical complications, people said all kinds of chipper things to me and my husband. I know that they were trying to make us "feel better."

The thing is, we were D-E-V-A-S-T-A-T-E-D. We were shocked and confused and angry and horrified. And it seemed like every which way I turned, some well meaning person was trying to put a smiley face on the situation. I just wanted permission to grieve and be confused. I just wanted a shoulder to cry on. Even those closest to me had a hard time letting me feel sad. Why is that? Why do we feel like it is our responsibility to make people cheer up?

Romans 12:15 says, "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep."

Look at the words in Proverbs 25:20 again. When we try to sell someone a field of daisies as they are facing something really difficult, we are taking something away from them. We are stealing their coat when the weather is harsh and cold. Not only that, but we stand a pretty good chance of irritating them while we're at it. Kind of like vinegar makes baking soda get all crazy and fizzy. People in pain are not always rational. Its much better to express sincere sympathy, or if your relationship calls for it, just weep right along with them. Resist that urge to cheer them up.

Yes, as Christians we do not grieve as those who are without hope. (1 Thess 4:13) But we still grieve. And when we do, we need our friends to grieve right along with us. What we don't need is someone singing songs at us when we have a heavy heart.

OK, on to the second bit of wisdom.

Proverbs 19:11

"The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger,
And his glory is to overlook a transgression."

Somebody out there needs to be reminded of this. (OK, I need to be reminded too, but lets talk about all of you for a moment!) This proverb is not mean to be applied universally. There are certainly offenses that need to be dealt with. Those aren't the things this verse is talking about. I think this verse is referring to those minor things that really should be overlooked.

So you just remember that, first, you should be slow to get angry. And, second, if you do get mad, it is your GLORY to overlook the transgression. I think you'll appreciate some definitions of the word glory (tipharah.) According to Strong's, tipharah can mean ornament, beauty or majesty.

How about that? You can get prettier by overlooking an offense. Now that is a deal worth closing on every time.